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Saturday, 31 December 2011

12 Months, 12 Challanges - January

From Keiko's last post, I've learnt about this monthly challenge. Instead of making some big resolutions on the first day of the year that usually never stick, the idea here is to give yourself some kind of small challenge every month. Each month one challenge. And I really like the idea, so I think I'm going with it!
As there is also a Facebook page, I am not entirely sure how you're supposed to do it. Though I do think I'd rather post here than on my facebook page.. I'm also not so sure if I'm supposed to declare all my monthly challenges or to go month by month. (Mainly as I've just read about it) I prefer to go month by month.

So.. tomorrow is January [Happy New Year!!], a new month and a new challenge, well two. I know I'm supposed to choose only one, but I need to do these two! [and I actually was planning, just not as a challenge..]
The first is about me and a dear friend of mine, Chokie. Yes, that would be chocolate. I've been seeing Chokie way too much lately. Way way too much. Not good for either of us.. And I know I should have a bigger goal of loosing weight because I really have put on a lot of weight, but I know that kind of challenge will be too much for me. So I challenge myself to not have one bit of chocolate in the month of January!
The second will be about Butterfly and the brushing of her dear teeth, or the not brushing, or rather the yes! brushing.. You see, I'm doing a very bad job at it. I tried letting her see me brush my teeth. I tried letting her brush my teeth [have you had a toddler push a toothbrush in your mouth? I don't recommend..] so that then I'll brush hers [nope!]. I tried having a special brushing teeth song [so now she hates Christmas! (okay I probably need to explain - looking for a good brushing teeth song on YouTube, I found nothing that appealed to me, so I took the first happy cheerful song that came up to me and made up my own words. The song was Jingle Bells...)]. Tried having her brush in front of a mirror (will admit that only tried it once). Still to try actually having toothpaste on her brush (I thought it's not good at her age, but apparently there are toothpastes for the very young!) and I think there was another suggestion but can't think of any now [if you do have another tip, I'd love to hear!]. We usually end either with not brushing the teeth or with me brutally holding down her arms with one hand, body held in between my knees, while trying with the other hand to brush her teeth. And this is so not how I want to parent. I do not want to be a big bully on my little girl. I know this is important, that's why I do do it (sometimes). Sometimes. So my second challenge for the month is to have her teeth brushed twice EVERY DAY. I just hope it becomes such a habit that she'll protest no more..

OMG do you know how many times I wrote the word challenge? Seems it's with an "e" after the "ll" (and not "a") and now I have to correct each and every one of them! (okay, only by clicking on each one and selecting the correct way but couldn't there be a -'correct all' option, like in Word!?)

Thursday, 22 December 2011

No Trust


Well my little Butterfly has her first word! [and this is old news as in I think about two weeks ago, but I was keyboardless..] "Do you want....." "no!.. no!" . Might I add how cute she is when she says it :-). I think it's kind of funny (and shows how late she is) that "no" is her first word.. oh well..

And the day after we were also blessed with a second word (but none since) - Yeye. That will be Wendy, my sister (& neighbour)'s dog. Every morning we go for a little walk, and Wendy joins us so it does make sense that that would be one of her first words (though doesn't "mummy, I love you" sound like a better candidate for that second word!? lol)

Besides that, the ball has started rolling in the speech therapist direction. First I have an appointment (just me) with a social worker. Then there's a speech therapist and a doctor (should be together but the doctor can't see me before April! [and I was told I was lucky as usually it's as long as Sep. If the speech therapist will see a need, they will somehow find me an earlier date or something like that]).

And there's the "no" that I tell her. I've encountered the term "free range parenting" and while I'm not exactly sure what they mean by it, I love the term and think of myself as a free range parent. Quoting from steady mom: "Respect your child as a person, providing firm boundaries but plenty of freedom to become who they are meant to be." I think (hope!) I do just that. She hardly hears a no from me - I'm either very permissive or prefer diversion. I just think there are so many things she can't do, so many small frustrations in her little world, that I don't need to add. But there are boundaries. Like the road. She is free to walk on the pavement (as in she doesn't have to hold my hand). But she MUST NOT go down to the road. And she know it! And most usually she is great (rarely, but she does sometime try me out. I do kind of expect her to test her boundaries..). And I believe she is good on the road [when we need to cross the road, quite often she will be the one asking to be picked up..] because she doesn't hear so much no from me. No, don't go there; No, don't pick that up; No, don't put that in your mouth; No, don't climb that; No, that's dangerous [I think probably one of the last "no"s I would tell her..]; No, don't go too near the edge of the pavement; No, don't smoke [okay that she most certainly would hear from me if...]. She doesn't hear so much nos so she doesn't need to defy me (anyway, that's how I see it).


My mother doesn't trust me. Probably never has. And you know, that first sentence is a bit wrong as it is not me she doesn't trust, but anyone, she just doesn't trust other people, but that doesn't make it much better. So one of the things that is important for me, is to build trust between me and my daughter. And while I still have to work on my trust, I do believe I trust her very much. Take the above example of walking in the street. I do sometimes get these terrible mother looks from other people but I do know my daughter and trust her (and yes, I am also very much alert and looking/watching..). [and then I walk with my mother and daughter, and mother tries to force daughter to hold her hand, because it is dangerous. She does not trust me (yet again) that I am looking out for my daughter].

And this trust, it is a two way. What's the point of me trusting her if she doesn't trust me..? So I do my best to keep my word. And she trusts me. I see that many times when, for example, I would tell her to wait and then I will xyz, and she waits very patiently!

[and I believe I had more to write on the trust issue, but I can't remember now..]

~ Happy Hannukah! ~

~Merry Christmas! ~