Butterfly's Birthday

Lilypie Fifth Birthday tickers

Friday, 6 July 2012

This Week

Oh I have so much to write about, and then my brain is empty and I can't so much remember all I wanted to write about...

 It's been a hard week because for start the summer holiday started which means much less work for me (hurrah to the pupils who still want lessons. July is still somewhat okay, August will be a disaster). Less work = less money, and yes I do put some money aside during the year for these two dreadful months, but it is still hard financially (oh and the heat and humidity!! [as in hard here too...]). And then this woman asked if I could help translate some things for her (paying me, of course). And on the bright side it is extra money (though I haven't heard from her yet. I am fearful it wasn't good in her eyes. I do hope it was because not only would it be a shame not to get paid, but I would also like to get future jobs from her). But boy, is it hard to work with a toddler around! How do mothers to little ones work at home?? I survived this week, and as I've mentioned, I am thirsty for more work, but it isn't easy.

 Today we were walking home and she says - bye mummy (in the hot sun. she is such a comedian :-)). And it's not so much what she said more that I feel it's coming. The other day she said something (I think - more up) and I could "hear" her thoughts the way she was stressing that this was one word and now it's a new one that she is beginning to understand that she can put two words together, whatever two words!

And this evening I had this strange/funny conversation with these two eight year old boys. These are two sweet boys (sweet is an addition from today :-)) I often see playing with their friends at this playground I love going to. They came up to me the other day (the day it suddenly dawned on me, earlier, that they are twins and not just best friends lol) to tell me my daughter is cute. And today they asked me if they can play with Butterfly. Now isn't that double sweet - first for wanting to play with her and then for asking my permission? :-) Anyway I started talking with them and then a father question came up (in the likes of Does her father also speak to her in English..) to which I told them she doesn't have one. They kind of found it hard to understand. So I'm sitting there on the sand with them, two eight year old boys, and how and what do I say to them? I decided that in my daughter's best interest, I do tell them. Not for now, but for the future. For practicing what to say and for practicing flowing with it. Okay I won't go into the whole conversation only a few tidbits, like after [it seemed!] they understood sperm meets egg in hospital [technically Butterfly is from IVF, but I didn't go into that with them] they asked me if that's how their parents had made them..And donor was too hard to understand so I went with a nice guy and the hospital. And then he (other twin wasn't around) couldn't understand how the sperm got into my body. When he finally grasped he pointed down between his legs - oh you mean from there! lol (I thought he was having trouble understanding a syringe... And the twin #2 came back and wanted to understand and twin #1 explained and it was mostly okay, except when twin #2 didn't understand what egg and sperm are and twin #1 whispered in his ear (because it's too embarrassing to say aloud, only I am not sure what term they used but understand they thought - penis and vagina. you know what, okay.....
Later when I saw my sister I mentioned very briefly this conversation. She said I shouldn't have had such a talk with them as I don't know how and what their parents told them/ want them to know. Writing the above,   I probably do have to find some kind of easier way to explain why Butterfly doesn't have a father. But like I said above, for Butterfly's sake (and for mine :-)) I do think that when asked (and if I feel it's appropriate. if I feel it's a nosy person for example, then none of their business. But kids wanting to understand.. that's fine by me) I should tell. How and what is something I obviously need to work on..

Happy belated Canada Day and American Independence Day and futuristic Happy Bastille Day !!!!
(if there is any other nation celebrating an important day, then happy day to you too!)

I then had a hard time explaining my daughter's peddle-less bike. (no, it's not the one where a parent holds this long bar behind and pushes, and no it's not a tricycle etc etc. I am to bring a picture of the bike for them to see). So maybe it wasn't just the sex no sex talk..
And speaking of the bike, a few of you asked for pictures of her riding it. Well they are too big for her, but they are parked where she has access and almost everyday she goes and takes them for a little walk in the house. Sometimes (though less often which is okay as I want her to befriend the bike and not feel like it's her enemy) sitting on it. I hope she grows tall enough soon and is able to actually ride them!!

I am very late on previous month's assignment, Of course it's now July's. And yes, I really should change that ticker!


Little One said...

I love how you answered the boys. The only thing is their parents may not be as thrilled. But also where were their parents? I told my students this year that my family was a mommy and baby family and left it up to their families. So glad Butterfly is communicating more.

Laraf123 said...

It is way harder to explain to (other people's) children about being a choice mom than it is explaining it to adults. Adults don't ask more questions--unless they are really good friends or idiots, LOL. Kids are just honest and innocent with their questions. They ask until they get it. Do you have any books to read to Butterly about the subject? I just end up parroting what the books say when neighborhood ask. (For my own children I'm more specific about the donor.)

You did fine--and yes, it's exciting about Butterfly's continued communication gains!

Tiara said...

I agree that it's definitely easier to explain to your own kid than to someone elses since you don't know how much their parents have shared/want them to know...I basically explain that there's all kinds of families, & ours is a 1 mom & 1 baby family & if the ask questions that go into the grey area I tend to direct them to their parents.

Billy said...

Thanks for your input. I probably went too far. Next time I think I like Tiara's answer - that there are all kinds of families etc and our family etc. And like you said, beyond that to send them to their parents! Oh well, this was my first time explaining to outsiders (and children at that) lol.

@ Little One - Is it the custom for parents to be with the kids in the playgrounds in Canada? Here it's the norm for school aged kids to run around and play without their parents necessarily around.
Not to mention that in places like Benie Berak you sometimes see an older kid pushing a stroller with a younger sibling, no parent around.

Anonymous said...

I can't speak for Canada, but here in the "Deep South" of the USA unless a playground is attached to a neighborhood or extremely close to at least, there are generally quite a few parents still around. Of course we are a bit of a paranoid society when it comes to kids.

MookiePie said...

I hope that you get more translation work, or at least that this one works out!
Your playground experience gives me something to think about for the future. I think about telling family and coworkers and one day my child, but I've never thought about the kids at the playground.
And putting two words together, very cool Butterfly!