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Monday, 21 November 2011

nanny stuff

If you know me in real life, then you know I do not lie. [o.k that is a lie.. but beyond a white lie here or there] I just couldn't lie even if I wanted to as my face would shout out loud - LIER.. So how come I get nannies who lie?!?
Previous nanny, was a very big lier, sometime lying even when what's wrong with the truth.. but she is completely history. It's the current nanny. Not sure if I blogged about it, but there was an incident I caught her lying in the beginning of the year. Didn't bother me too much as it was a minor incident and I am not out to look for lies (and I am a naive person who basically believes what the person in front of me is saying to be the truth). Today we had this conversation [I know they* don't do much with Butterfly. After conversation with development nurse yesterday in regards to B's speaking I wanted to ask them to sit more with her]
nanny: What about computers?
me: no computers or televisions for Butterfly.
nanny: oh, she doesn't love t.v. [immediately followed by how Butterfly doesn't watch tv blah blah. Do you believe that?? Yeah, neither do I!]
But you know, that's minor. While I am completely not pleased to learn that they probably do sit her in front of the telly, I can swallow it. It's THE. BIG. LIE I'm upset about.

{first a bit of technical background about where I live - if you come to me by car, say from the nanny, you would go on this main(ish, it is a small town..) road then turn left and after two houses turn left again. My house would be the one after the corner house. So going by car would be right once I leave the house (always right as left leads to a dead end). But if you do not go by car, you can [and more logical if that's your general direction] just turn left}
So a couple of weeks ago I happen to see nanny turn right as she left the house with girl in pram. It kind of surprised me as it is not the logical way to go, but I thought she's probably taking the girl for a long walk and good for her!
Then the other day was a very rainy day and my mother offered to take them to nanny's house. They refused to and somehow mentioned how Billy forbids them to take Butterfly by car. I forbid them to use the car with B! Wow, that definitely hit a red light when mother told me. Because you know, the first, last and only time I have ever mentioned taking (or rather not taking) Butterfly by car was in the beginning of June in the job interview. If I have never talked about it, it is kind of strange that them mentioning me forbidding it. My mother didn't buy it.
Anyway, the other night, coming back home from work, I see them come round the corner from the direction of turning right and right from my house, yes, not the way one would walk to my house. And this was a cold rainy day.. [unfortunately it didn't hit me till later]. We stopped just after the corner just before my house, and her son showed me this video where Butterfly does (NOT) talk. When finished, one would expect them to carry on walking in my direction. No, they went back [again, only later it hit me].
And today as there were leaving and thought I didn't hear, the mother asked the daughter to hand her the keys (turning right as they left the house..). You could say they come by car, walk girl in pram, and then take the car home at the end of the day. But if so - why hide the car??? Why not park right outside the house??
So if it wasn't clear, I very much suspect they take my girl in their car (and tonight kind of confirmed it). Under no circumstances do or would I allow that. I let my baby from the beginning when she could and did, put things in her mouth [others might say that's dangerous. I do/did not fear swallowing, choking], I let her try and climb things others might consider dangerous, I do not necessarily hold her hand when walking in the street (though I do pick her up when crossing a road) as I trust her, she knows she's not allowed to the road (but yes, I am always there looking, watching, I do know she is still a baby..). I do all these things that might be seen as dangerous. Road safety is where I say no. My baby must always be seated in a safety car seat, no compromise there [my sister, she's the opposite - telling her daughter how she can't climb this or that, but then starting to drive (home after picking son up from kindergarten, really a two minute drive) without him clicking in..].
Not sure how I go from here (finding a new nanny is not an option).

* nannies are mother and her 19 yr old daughter. the mother is the main guardian of my daughter and the one who lies..

EDT: a little of snooping, and I discovered today she has a safety car seat in her car. At least that. I am still very much not pleased she does it behind my back. [you know, maybe in cold and wet days, knowing she does have a car seat, I'd approve...]


Little One said...

I just don't have words...stunned. I am like you. I cannot lie easily, everyone would know (if you watch Friends and you know the episode where Joey starts talking about a raccoon entering a bar and talking you know what I mean).
We put our trust in people to take care of our children. And then this happens? I'm just stunned. Grrrr.

Miss X said...

That is awful. Why can't you find a good nanny? Maybe there's something you are putting out there (unspoken) that makes them think they can not be honest with you? Or maybe they think nannying is a cushy job where you can do whatever you want?

Since they appear to be taking her in the car anyway, what about "compromising" and allowing them to take her by car as long as they have her in a carseat?

I know you are a great mother. Good luck with this!

Tiara said...

Unbelievable! I hope you're able to figure this out & it's not as bad as it seems...tho having told them you told them no car rides so for them to do it behind your back is a huge breech of trust.

DandelionBreeze said...

I can't stand lies... nothing worse !! Such a difficult thing to handle... xoxo

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