Last night I shouted at my daughter :-(.
We were trying to get to sleep and she's over tired and sucks on my breast and tries to get up etc, i.e not getting to sleep. Anyway she then pees in her trousers (we don't wear a nappy to bed. lately I had very good nights with no misses! but yes, we do have misses. especially if girl drinks a lot and refuses to go to sleep, and mother is focused on getting girl to sleep and doesn't look out for signs...), and I go to change her, quite pissed by now. As usual when she is changed, she turns and escapes and what not. Funny how when she was little I thought how easy it is to change a baby and what are those people talking about.... oh and the screaming. I'm sure you've heard her from across the ocean.. Sometimes giving her something in her hands helps. So she's heading for the torch which was a few cm from her head and not only do I not let her get it, I also don't give it to her (stupid me. I was really getting angry at this point). And then I shout at her "enough already". She was a bit stunned, let me dress her and went to sleep without anymore fuss.
And I felt so bad for shouting at her. Felt like I'm following my father's foot steps, who would just go off and shout at us, never really patient with us. And I know I'm usually very patient and the above is not an everyday occurrence, but well in that moment I was my father there, and if I had one moment, there could be more. I just hope that by being aware, there won't be many (or any) such incidents.
5 comments:
I'd be willing to guess that every parent does shout from time to time. The fact that you can recognize this is not behavior that you want to repeat is a great step. You're doing fabulous. Hang in there and hugs to you.
I totally agree with battynurse, every parent loses their patience at some time or another...you show me a perfect parent, I'll show you a parent in denial...the fact that you are aware of it will help you not to do it often, if ever again. Don't be hard on yourself.
I always feel terrible when I shout at my kids...I try not to do it, but it does happen once in awhile. Don't worry, you are not scarring your children forever. Sometimes it takes a little volume to get their attention. It definitely doesn't make you a bad parent. You're doing great!
I always feel bad when I shout, but I do it more than I'd like to admit. It's part of parenting, and what I've learned from other moms is to not beat myself up when I'm not perfect. Don't be hard on yourself, we all lose it from time to time.
I've lost my patience with my children and shouted more times than I can count. Afterwards I feel HORRIBLE. All any of us can do is try to learn new strategies and always forgive ourselves for not being perfect.
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