Wednesday, 25 July 2012

Sweet & Sour

First, sorry for being such a terrible blogger.
Second, tonight was a really bad night putting Butterfly to sleep. It is rarely easy with her, but tonight (with no nap this afternoon, and being very tired after the swimming pool, and the heat, and a nervous mother who just wanted her daughter to fall asleep already, etc) it was really really difficult. I am exhausted but I want to write this so somewhere it will be recorded [you know, for B in the future...].

I'll start by mentioning how she got over this barrier of putting two words together, and now does it freely [last time I posted I felt a shift in the air. until then she was quite "stiff" with it]. And I think she is now beginning to realize that she can do three!! Anyway I was going all educational with her [something I try not to..] telling her how this and that animal breastfeeds (has tzitzi [=boob]), and then going on to tell he that the birdy doesn't have tzitzi. And she, learning her lesson says so cutely - no birdy tzitzi.
Okay, now all this introduction was more for the cuteness of it. Anyhow, right after saying no birdy tzitzi, she out of the blue said - 'no daddy' (not sure but I think even - 'no daddy A.nnie', A.nnie being the name she calls herself). I will admit that this is not the first time (maybe the third) and I don't know what and/or how much she understands. I think the first time she said it, I was mentioning her grandfather (my dad..). But it still makes your heart pinch a little.
And then there's the daddy song on the disc. About this kid saying how great his dad is [my dad has a ladder so high it reaches the sky, etc...]. Lots of discussions on the SMC board about whether or not to hear it or skip it and the feelings it causes. I agree with the consensus, saying it is a classic song and you can't keep the world out. My mother suggested changing it ti mummy. Well for start, while I am singing along, it is not me whose singing, and the words are the words.. But more than that, at some point both I and fatherless daughter have to deal with it. Better not starting with hiding behind and avoiding. But again, even through I sing along with a clear mind that I am not going to treat this song any way different, there is still that pinch in the heart. [that plus the song that ends in a side tone - 'so why when I sang him a song that he loves, he closed his eyes and fell asleep']

Tuesday, 10 July 2012

"A--m no dirty"

or was it - No A.dam dirty ?
[Ad.am being her new baby cousin whom Butterfly loves so much]
While it was prompted by me (I did say - Ada.m isn't dirty*) it was her doing, THREE words!!
Oh and yes, I'll probably tell you every little advancement we make in speech :-).

Just a short post, so let me add that I finally decided yes to go for the translation degree (if you remember back some time ago I was thinking about it, but then I put it aside as in maybe not such a good idea). Besides this difficult test you have to do to get into the program, I do fear I might have missed even the late registration. It does mean a very difficult two or three years but I do hope that in the long run it will give me opportunity for more income.

I have so many little projects, like a story about brushing teeth I'm writing for daughter (almost almost finished writing it, but have trouble finishing it off plus I would then need to find photos to go with it and get it printed) and looking for a suitable how I (as in daughter) came to be SMC + IVF book for kids and not finding anything I like, I am thinking about writing something myself, and being with Butterfly 24/7 and this translation gig, finishing the tabs for my blog, etc. I think I'll drop my - 'oh I'm going to spend my lazy summer learning how to knit' plan....








*I'm cutting short here but really nothing to do with the boy, more with my girl showing me her dirty hands and just saying dirty and me trying to get her to say more asking if A is dirty....



Friday, 6 July 2012

This Week

Oh I have so much to write about, and then my brain is empty and I can't so much remember all I wanted to write about...

 It's been a hard week because for start the summer holiday started which means much less work for me (hurrah to the pupils who still want lessons. July is still somewhat okay, August will be a disaster). Less work = less money, and yes I do put some money aside during the year for these two dreadful months, but it is still hard financially (oh and the heat and humidity!! [as in hard here too...]). And then this woman asked if I could help translate some things for her (paying me, of course). And on the bright side it is extra money (though I haven't heard from her yet. I am fearful it wasn't good in her eyes. I do hope it was because not only would it be a shame not to get paid, but I would also like to get future jobs from her). But boy, is it hard to work with a toddler around! How do mothers to little ones work at home?? I survived this week, and as I've mentioned, I am thirsty for more work, but it isn't easy.

 Today we were walking home and she says - bye mummy (in the hot sun. she is such a comedian :-)). And it's not so much what she said more that I feel it's coming. The other day she said something (I think - more up) and I could "hear" her thoughts the way she was stressing that this was one word and now it's a new one that she is beginning to understand that she can put two words together, whatever two words!

And this evening I had this strange/funny conversation with these two eight year old boys. These are two sweet boys (sweet is an addition from today :-)) I often see playing with their friends at this playground I love going to. They came up to me the other day (the day it suddenly dawned on me, earlier, that they are twins and not just best friends lol) to tell me my daughter is cute. And today they asked me if they can play with Butterfly. Now isn't that double sweet - first for wanting to play with her and then for asking my permission? :-) Anyway I started talking with them and then a father question came up (in the likes of Does her father also speak to her in English..) to which I told them she doesn't have one. They kind of found it hard to understand. So I'm sitting there on the sand with them, two eight year old boys, and how and what do I say to them? I decided that in my daughter's best interest, I do tell them. Not for now, but for the future. For practicing what to say and for practicing flowing with it. Okay I won't go into the whole conversation only a few tidbits, like after [it seemed!] they understood sperm meets egg in hospital [technically Butterfly is from IVF, but I didn't go into that with them] they asked me if that's how their parents had made them..And donor was too hard to understand so I went with a nice guy and the hospital. And then he (other twin wasn't around) couldn't understand how the sperm got into my body. When he finally grasped he pointed down between his legs - oh you mean from there! lol (I thought he was having trouble understanding a syringe... And the twin #2 came back and wanted to understand and twin #1 explained and it was mostly okay, except when twin #2 didn't understand what egg and sperm are and twin #1 whispered in his ear (because it's too embarrassing to say aloud, only I am not sure what term they used but understand they thought - penis and vagina. you know what, okay.....
Later when I saw my sister I mentioned very briefly this conversation. She said I shouldn't have had such a talk with them as I don't know how and what their parents told them/ want them to know. Writing the above,   I probably do have to find some kind of easier way to explain why Butterfly doesn't have a father. But like I said above, for Butterfly's sake (and for mine :-)) I do think that when asked (and if I feel it's appropriate. if I feel it's a nosy person for example, then none of their business. But kids wanting to understand.. that's fine by me) I should tell. How and what is something I obviously need to work on..


Happy belated Canada Day and American Independence Day and futuristic Happy Bastille Day !!!!
(if there is any other nation celebrating an important day, then happy day to you too!)


P.S
I then had a hard time explaining my daughter's peddle-less bike. (no, it's not the one where a parent holds this long bar behind and pushes, and no it's not a tricycle etc etc. I am to bring a picture of the bike for them to see). So maybe it wasn't just the sex no sex talk..
And speaking of the bike, a few of you asked for pictures of her riding it. Well they are too big for her, but they are parked where she has access and almost everyday she goes and takes them for a little walk in the house. Sometimes (though less often which is okay as I want her to befriend the bike and not feel like it's her enemy) sitting on it. I hope she grows tall enough soon and is able to actually ride them!!

P.P.S
I am very late on previous month's assignment, Of course it's now July's. And yes, I really should change that ticker!