Tuesday, 26 July 2011

BFP!

Yes, that would be a Big Fat Positive.. No, not my bfp (hmmm.. I think you'd know if/when I'll be trying again :-) ), my sister's! Yes, my younger sister is now pregnant. And more than how (donor sperm, another SMC in the making..), do you want to know how many attempts it took her? One! How lucky is that!! To get knocked on your first time! Hell, she did not even know what a Beta is... And yes, let be go back to the SMC thing I just mentioned.. My sister, after seeing me and my daughter, has decided also to try and become a mother by herself. Unlike me she has very much dated guys, but well.. Anyway it's kind of weird.. [at some point I was asked if I wouldn't mind if she'd use the same donor I used. hmmm ignoring the fact that he doesn't donate anymore so it is a total hypothetical question, I think I'd rather not..]. And I am very happy for her. Very happy.

And now can I the rants? Little rant and big rant.. Little rant - She will go into motherhood younger than me! [I was almost three weeks over forty. She should deliver about two months before her 40th..]. In fact, out of all the sisters, I who always wanted to be a mother much more than any one of them, I turned out to be the oldest mother. And you know, her first attempt...
And oh big rant.. what she said. She says that succeeding on that first attempt might be little luck, but it's mainly her working on herself,"cleaning" herself up. May I say a big hmmmm?! Because while it is not what she is saying, it is very much implied that I and many of us who needed/s a bit more than one attempt, in fact take ten tries, over a year or two, IVF, etc.. are in the wrong set of mind. That we don't want it as badly as she and/or didn't do the work she did. Isn't that a just relax?? You were lucky sister, that's all, very very lucky. And yes, your state of mind might have helped somewhat, but to say that's why you got pregnant so easily?? And can I say that she was not determined like me to go this route, that she had many doubts and it took her some time to get going.. As I said, she didn't mean all this, but I most certainly understand it from between the lines and it very much pisses me of! And yet, I want to finish this post by saying again how happy I am for her!

Sunday, 24 July 2011

1 year 1 month 1 week 1 day 1 hour

A little girl in this world has just* discovered she can open cupboards. And oh the joys that await her!!


Oh yummy!

Silly mummy! Showing me this cupboard so I won't go to the nearby one with the bottles of oil etc (some glass). Because look what I found!


The loot!



Running away with the loot!



Some crackers for the way..



And another one..



Another cupboard! And oh, what do we have here!!!



Mummy! Look what I found!



* Well scheduling this post. Pictures really taken ten days ago..

Saturday, 2 July 2011

Creative Drawing Workshop

To celebrate sister#5's birthday, we sisters were all invited to a creative drawing workshop, guided by her (she dreams of doing such workshops, so we were a test workshop..). I will admit that when we sat around the table to begin, and it hit me, I got scared, because me? I do like art and artwork and all, but I can't draw!!

The title of the workshop was harmony. We were to look at the beauty around us (and such a pity she has to leave that gorgeous place next week! [the rent period is finished..]), the trees, the flowers the colours of nature, listen to the birds and the wind and all. To get us in the right mood, she started of with a short meditation, then it was off to work.. *



First thing, getting the canvas ready by painting it with this white paint. Then we had to choose four colours (plus white) to work with, and only work with them. Well, I think we all cheated there lol, as we ended up adding a little bit of this or that... What was quite amazing was sisters #3 and #6 choosing the exact same colours as can be seen in the photo below [sister #3, whose plate is on the left, added the middle colour later after a long hesitation....] (they did not sit next to each other and did not see what the other was picking) [p.s - that's my plate on the right :-)]



We started of by covering the canvas with colour. While my sisters got nice patches of colours, mine just blending into one brownish not so nice colour. Oh well, washed some of it off and started anew.


Next we were to look at what came out and see what we can see and work on that. Yay, something that I'm good at! I immediately saw this half blown down tree (unfortunately, being quick in finding, I've already started painting when sister #6 took the picture, so imagine below picture without the blue and red..) Asking sister #5 how to do the sun, as I thought I had to stick to what was and just do an outline here and there, she talked something about roundness and/or softness, don't exactly remember except that was not my sun! my sun was warm and radiant! My sun sent out her rays.. Well actually I started with the red with the thought of adding yellow, but I loved it, so added just a little bit of yellow... Funny but it felt like the sun was Butterfly (and at the end one of the sisters said too that it felt to her like the sun was Butterfly!).



And this is my picture ended looking like..
All in all, it was a lovely way to celebrate her birthday! Sister #5 is promising another workshop. Can't wait :-)).



* one of these of/fs is the right one, but which?!?




P.P.S
I am maybe not a big fun of alcoholic beverages, but.... first time in I think two and a half years (from early Sep when I conceived) that I had some wine...

Friday, 1 July 2011

First time at the sea..

love this picture!




but lets start at the beginning, when Butterfly still had a swimming suit on! (and why yes, that's yoghurt all over my trousers..)


so they dug this hole, made me sit in it, and now filling it with water!?



bye bye sea! I think I do like you, even if at first I didn't know what to do with you. I think mummy giving me a seashell to put in my mouth [sis: "she has something in her mouth" me:"yes, I put it there....." helped me understand this strange new place..