Wednesday, 30 March 2011

moments


  • I have these moments when I fear what will happen with Butterfly if something were to happen to me. You know, being her only parent. (mum promised me she will remain in the family!). And then the other day I had an opposite moment. I am the sole parent of this wonderful girl, I have her all to myself. No body to share the parenthood with, nobody to "go halfs" with. She is just wonderfully fully, completely, absolutely mine!
  • [While I'm typing someone is picking up my shirt searching.. I know they are here somewhere! (oh, and just for the record, same someone just bit me again while nursing, which is why I went away to the computer. hmmm was?? is! my waist..)]
  • Our (well her) first sick. A little vomit and two days after the diarrhea. Yes, unsurprising the exact same time as the emergence of those top teeth. Not nice watching your kid not being well and not able to do much to help.

  • Does new teeth necessary mean biting?? There were a few bitings when she first got her bottom teeth. Nothing since. And now, about two months later with the top teeth coming she's biting again.. She bites, I call out in pain while pulling out my breast and she just laughs. More so she gets this big grin on her mouth (while nursing) and I know she's about to bite.. Of course I tell her no biting and stop nursing. This is just new from last the other night. I hope it doesn't last..
  • moments of sleep.. One benefit of bed sharing is the synchronising of the sleep/wake thing that happens, we both get to wake up together. Great when she wakes to nurse, and before she cries (making going back to sleep so much harder) my breast is already there for her(unfortunately many nights I am too tired to remember it's probably time to pee). Not so great last night when she wakes, she's uneasy [still not too well. those damn teeth.. she has four popping together, two popped, two more to go for now] finally goes to sleep. While nursing her I also drift into sleep, but not in a preferred position. Then I wake, glad to see she's asleep, and role over. Only that synchronising thing, she also wakes and so on and on and on. [I knew she had a poop bothering her and tried putting her a few times over the bowl but she only peed. Only come morning did she go]

  • We changed clocks last night. Weird how my watch will now be accurate :-D [I love summer time and refuse to let go, so all year round my watch is on summer time].

    Sunday, 13 March 2011

    20 Answers

    First an update on the bath situation: the new thing now is washing her outside with a bowl of warm water. Of course this doesn't work when it's raining and cold.... [have a video of that first outside "bath" but don't seem to be able to upload it to blogger]


    And now to the meme :-). FruitFish at Waiting to Mommyhood tagged me on this 20 questions & answers meme. According to the rules, you may replace any question you don't like with your own. And tag four other bloggers.

    So here it goes:

    1) If you have pets, do you see them as merely animals or are they members of your family?
    I had a dog. She was most certainbly part of my family! She was my first little girl. And I've mentioned before that my daughter was created on the same date of her death. For me that means a connection between the two. I now have cats. Can't call them members of my family, maybe distant relatives..

    2) If you could have a dream come true, what would it be?
    Living in a nice little house in the country with a little stream or maybe a lake at the bottom of the garden and also a forest with wild (friendly)animals. Raising both(!) my kids there doing home education (until perhaps high school?).

    3) What would you do with a billion dollars?
    Well obviously strive to make my above dream come true..
    I would put a large sum of money aside for my kids to enjoy (both for stuff growing up and for their future like higher education).
    I would then give some of the money to family and friends.
    With a billion dollars, I guess I would still have plenty left, so.. there is this blogger whom I've been following for some years now. She could be the most wonderful mother ever. Except money speaks and she can't afford the cost of becoming one. I think it's totally unfair not to be able to become a mother due to finances. So I guess the rest of the money will go to her and other mothers to be who can't afford it.

    4) What helps to pull you out of a bad mood?
    Nature. Seeing a bird flying in the sky, or hearing it sing or a hedgehog or any other animal.
    And of course my little girl. Her smile melts me down :-)).

    5) What is your bedtime routine?
    Don't think we really have such a thing.. Butterfly shows signs of tiredness, we go to bed. She nurses and nurses and nurses, mostly while doing some gym, butt high in the air while feet and head (hmm mouth..) are on the "ground", or turning herself without disconnecting from the nipple (she's a champ!) etc. Eventually she will fall asleep and by then I'm mostly so tired myself I go to sleep too.

    6) If you are currently in a relationship, how did you meet your significant other? If you aren’t, what have you tried in the past few years to meet someone?
    Nothing much. That date I talked about the other day..didn't hear a thing. I think it was the baby that turned him off.

    7) What kind of books do you read?
    I like historical novels, but any good read will do :-) [the question is more the time.. one book I have in my bag to read when going to work, another is in the toilet (and not that Butterfly lets me..), a third with my breakfast (hmm again not that she so lets me) when I'm not on the computer.

    8) How do you see yourself in 10 years?
    With a ten year old and hopefully a younger brother or sister.

    9)What’s your fear?
    Plenty. Since the birth of my daughter, I think dying is the number one.

    10) Would you give up all junk food for the rest of your life for the opportunity to see outer space?
    Well on one hand I'd love to see outer space. And junk food is so not healthy! On the other.. I'm claustrophobic and being stuck in a space ship without being able to exit for who knows how long doesn't make me feel good, and you know, junk food is tasty! So I'm undecided..

    11) What’s the first thing you do when you wake up?
    Look at Butterfly and try to detrmine if we can sneek in a bit more sleep or if we call it day...

    12) If you could change one thing about your significant other, what would it be? Or, if you’re single - if you could choose a significant other who looked like anyone in the world, who would it be?
    no comprendo! If I'm in a relation I get to change any feature but if single it's the look that counts?? Anyway I guess if it's the looks then I'd choose a guy that looks like my daughter as she does not look like me at all.

    13) If you could pick a new name for yourself, what would it be?
    I've been living with my name for over 40 years now, I'm pretty used to it by now..
    But I like the names Sarah, and Ruth andRachel (again can never see myself in them and not names I'd pick for my daughter, just names I like).

    14) If you had to choose between six months of sun or six months of rain, what would you choose?
    Choosing between sun and rain?? Oh, a hard one! I'll be greedy and take both! And bring a nice rainbow too!!

    15) If you could only eat one thing for the next 6 months, what would it be?
    I think I'd go with fruit (though technically that's not just one thing..)

    16) What is the thing you enjoy about blogging the most?
    I think most of all it's this sense of community. Reading about other SMCs (or SMCs in the making) and writing about how this journery unfolds for us. A place to vent as well as to share my joys.
    And also knowing that perhaps one day Butterfly will want to read here, things that don't get written in her scrapbook..

    17) Do you prefer salty or sweet foods?
    Again, I am not making a choice as I like both!





    18) What items are in your purse right now?
    Hmmm.... you mean that empty (or almost emty though can't remember now what's still in it) thing thrown in some hidden corner?
    But the bag I carry for work, beyond teaching material contains my wallet, a book I'm reading (see #7) a notebok and lip balm. In baby bag, besides baby stuff there's again lip balm, a hair brush (I never use it, but I always check back it's there..) and I think that's it (wallet of course when in use).

    19) If you had to choose between vacationing at the beach or in the mountains where would you go?
    I think I'd go with the beach. (though neither would be my first choice)

    20) What do you watch on television that you know you shouldn’t? [have to change this question as I do not have a TV!] So I'll go with the reverse - What would you like to watch on TV that you are not watching?
    Well there was this programme, I think it was called "Little Angels" in which a psychologist (mainly Tanya..) came and helped with some parenting issues. I liked it more than Super Nanny.

    And now for the tags.. I'm tagging


    P.S
    Zero! I have zero posts in my reader, as in - your reading list has no unread items! (and another half an hour of idle internetting as I forgot this hour's pupil is on a trip..)

    P.P.S
    Oops! seems I accidentaly pressed the publish button instead of the save on a nanny rant post I am working on..

    Tuesday, 1 March 2011

    Iced Ink

    I thought back them it was hard having a shower with such a small baby, thought it would be easier as she grows. Well, no!!!! Sometimes she'll sit curiously outside, but mostly at some point she'll scream. So I don't shower too often, and well.. the title says it..

    But more than me, let's talk about cleaning my little Butterfly. At first I used baby bath and all was well. But she out grew it, and truth is I dragged using that baby bath a bit too long. Anyway wasn't sure how to bathe her as I have no (adult) bath. My original plan was when she'll be some-what older to have her sitting on a plastic chair in the shower, but she's not quite ready for that now, so not an option.. At one time I went to my mother's and we had a bath together in her bath. At first she was a bit scared so I sat in the bath with her and nursed her.. I am so happy I can calm her like that :-). I really enjoyed that bath together - a mother and daughter together in the bath. Though for me the water was a bit cold.. But it's at my mum's house and I do need help dressing her afterwards [the room near the bath is cold, no heater. Downstaris where I would dress her is open to everyone. Obviously I'd dress her before I dress myself, but it's down-stairs, where anybody can see..]. So while it seems a good solution, we don't do it too often (in fact, we haven't after those first two tries..).
    But then I do not want bathing at my mum's do be the solution. Good for now and then but not for the everyday bath. And so I got a tub, you know the one, used mainly for washing. And size wise it ideal! She can sit in it and has plenty of room. So we had our first bath in it, and all was well. Then, for some reason or another, we didn't have a bath in about a week. The week that she learnt to stand. The next time I put her in that tub (and probably my mistake for being concerned first with wetting her and not with showing her the toys..), she just got up and screamed and screamed and screamed. [I will note that while I most certainly call what she did screaming, sister says Butterfly was just crying. the truth is probably somewhere in between..]. From then it became quite impossible to bathe her - she stands up, refuses to sit and screams/cries. Tried putting her together with her two yr cousin. nope. Tried warmer water. nope. Tried more water. nope. Tried less water. nope. Tried more toys. nope. Mum tried in her bath. nope (o.k, she did get her bathed, but not without tears being shed). Tried breastfeeding her while in the tub. Not an easy feat, to say the least. nope (well yes while on the breast, but not a second after..). What I do eventually do* is take her out when she cries, and while she's on me put the soap on and then wash it off with water - yes, while she's still on me.. So bath is a rare occasion in our household nowadays.


    And not so related (well should do something about the stench, lol), I understand sis has a guy to fix me up with for a blind date. I don't know anything about him yet, so I am jumping my horses, but.. How do you do it? How do you date when you have a little baby at home? More so when mother goes to bed together with daughter [I know this is not the best thing to do, but right now it works best for us..]? I mean for that first date I could ask my mother to watch the girl, but I don't know about next possible dates, and well I can't go out saying - you're a nice guy but I have a baby so won't be able to see you again until...... As I said I am ahead of me. I only just heard there's a guy...

    And talking about guys, a weird dream I had. I'll cut it short to the point - this guy (and might I add that I dreamt it before hearing of potential date) gives me this wedding ring, except on the ring is engraved the name Emily (not my name!) and I don't remember what else. He couldn't/didn't even bother rubbing previous girl's name! Was totally weird as weddings and guys (in the dating sense) are not ususally what I dream about. [I wonder if this guy I'm suppose to date had an Emily before, lol]

    * I am told to just wash her and she'll get used to it etc. I am not willing to make bathing time a trauma for her.