Saturday, 26 November 2011

Decisions..

I've always been more of a dog person that a cats lady. I have five cats (I do hope one day to do a post introducing them!) which unfortunately I can't really let in the house (I did let them sleep inside in the [very few; too few!] rainy nights we had. But then it wasn't easy with Butterfly who didn't sleep too good..), and since Butterfly was born I'm hardly with them (although it is getting better now, mainly as Butterfly loves to pat them. Oh and eat thier food (but that's not new, lol). So I have these cats, and cats are nice, but DOGS are the real thing! Dogs you can take for a walk, you can throw ball, you can play rough & tumble.
I had a dog, Sky, who died some years ago. In fact (and I know I mentioned this here before), but she died on the same date that B was conceived! It didn't seem right at the time to try and "replace" her with another dog, but I always dreamt of having another dog again one day.
Well, that day is soon to come. I don't think it's a good idea now to get a new dog, being winter and all, but after the winter I am planning on adopting a dog! Hopefully a (plus minus) one yr old female who is good with children and cats (should also be a big dog as I love the big ones..).
I am already waiting the walks, and I believe a dog would be great for Butterfly as she is so energetic and so lively and I am not so. So she would be able to play rough and tumble with the dog! So around Pesach (whenever it falls, I think it's best to have free time for the first few days) I plan to see what the local shelter has.
Decision #1

Child number two. Went back and forth if I can/should, and yes, I am going to try. I remember reading a blog about this mother who weaned her six month because she wanted to try for a second, but then it took her two years! (and donor embryos, not that that matters to the story) to conceive. And it was tough weaning her kid. I want/ed to give my child a "full term" of breastfeeding before I aim at stopping it. Ideally I will still be breastfeeding while pregnant with #2 and them do tandem breastfeeding. Chances that won't happen. So I am aiming towards the two year mark. Yes, I know my age (41, thank you for reminding me :-)), but still I would rather wait a bit more.
I think in about a month I'll be ready to make the call to the/a bank. Probably no more vials of daughter's donor, so will have to pick a new "guy". Not sure when I'll actually start, but kind of debating if IVF or to try and start with IUIs and only if it doesn't work go on to IVF. Right now I'm thinking to start with three unmedicated IUIs (you know, so I can breastfeed alongside) and see how to go from there.
Decision #2

Homeschooling. I do hope to do a post about it one day soon. Something I always wanted to do, but with being a single parent thought that this would be a dream I might have to give up on. Well no! I am now reading some homeschooling blogs and very much believe I can do it!
Decision #3

For decision number 3 to become, I probably need to increase my income with things I can do from my house. I do need to go to the local university and publish there that I translate (I am planning that for too long). But that might give me here a job there a job, nothing to much to count on.
I am thinking (and this is not a "closed" decision, more in the thought process) of carrying on my studies - either in translation or in information management, both possibilities for working from home. The main problem is money, paying for tuition and extra hours of nanny(maybe my dad will help?) plus I hope lessons are in the mornings so I could still work as usuall or at least to be able to do it one afternoon a week, even if it means taking longer to complete my studies.
BTW - if you have any other ideas for extra income from home, I'd love to hear!
Decision #4

Monday, 21 November 2011

nanny stuff

If you know me in real life, then you know I do not lie. [o.k that is a lie.. but beyond a white lie here or there] I just couldn't lie even if I wanted to as my face would shout out loud - LIER.. So how come I get nannies who lie?!?
Previous nanny, was a very big lier, sometime lying even when what's wrong with the truth.. but she is completely history. It's the current nanny. Not sure if I blogged about it, but there was an incident I caught her lying in the beginning of the year. Didn't bother me too much as it was a minor incident and I am not out to look for lies (and I am a naive person who basically believes what the person in front of me is saying to be the truth). Today we had this conversation [I know they* don't do much with Butterfly. After conversation with development nurse yesterday in regards to B's speaking I wanted to ask them to sit more with her]
nanny: What about computers?
me: no computers or televisions for Butterfly.
nanny: oh, she doesn't love t.v. [immediately followed by how Butterfly doesn't watch tv blah blah. Do you believe that?? Yeah, neither do I!]
But you know, that's minor. While I am completely not pleased to learn that they probably do sit her in front of the telly, I can swallow it. It's THE. BIG. LIE I'm upset about.

{first a bit of technical background about where I live - if you come to me by car, say from the nanny, you would go on this main(ish, it is a small town..) road then turn left and after two houses turn left again. My house would be the one after the corner house. So going by car would be right once I leave the house (always right as left leads to a dead end). But if you do not go by car, you can [and more logical if that's your general direction] just turn left}
So a couple of weeks ago I happen to see nanny turn right as she left the house with girl in pram. It kind of surprised me as it is not the logical way to go, but I thought she's probably taking the girl for a long walk and good for her!
Then the other day was a very rainy day and my mother offered to take them to nanny's house. They refused to and somehow mentioned how Billy forbids them to take Butterfly by car. I forbid them to use the car with B! Wow, that definitely hit a red light when mother told me. Because you know, the first, last and only time I have ever mentioned taking (or rather not taking) Butterfly by car was in the beginning of June in the job interview. If I have never talked about it, it is kind of strange that them mentioning me forbidding it. My mother didn't buy it.
Anyway, the other night, coming back home from work, I see them come round the corner from the direction of turning right and right from my house, yes, not the way one would walk to my house. And this was a cold rainy day.. [unfortunately it didn't hit me till later]. We stopped just after the corner just before my house, and her son showed me this video where Butterfly does (NOT) talk. When finished, one would expect them to carry on walking in my direction. No, they went back [again, only later it hit me].
And today as there were leaving and thought I didn't hear, the mother asked the daughter to hand her the keys (turning right as they left the house..). You could say they come by car, walk girl in pram, and then take the car home at the end of the day. But if so - why hide the car??? Why not park right outside the house??
So if it wasn't clear, I very much suspect they take my girl in their car (and tonight kind of confirmed it). Under no circumstances do or would I allow that. I let my baby from the beginning when she could and did, put things in her mouth [others might say that's dangerous. I do/did not fear swallowing, choking], I let her try and climb things others might consider dangerous, I do not necessarily hold her hand when walking in the street (though I do pick her up when crossing a road) as I trust her, she knows she's not allowed to the road (but yes, I am always there looking, watching, I do know she is still a baby..). I do all these things that might be seen as dangerous. Road safety is where I say no. My baby must always be seated in a safety car seat, no compromise there [my sister, she's the opposite - telling her daughter how she can't climb this or that, but then starting to drive (home after picking son up from kindergarten, really a two minute drive) without him clicking in..].
Not sure how I go from here (finding a new nanny is not an option).


* nannies are mother and her 19 yr old daughter. the mother is the main guardian of my daughter and the one who lies..

EDT: a little of snooping, and I discovered today she has a safety car seat in her car. At least that. I am still very much not pleased she does it behind my back. [you know, maybe in cold and wet days, knowing she does have a car seat, I'd approve...]

Friday, 18 November 2011

a picture post

Rain rain DON'T go away
And do come again another day!!

I love it with the first rains, when it is still not too cold and the air is soooooo fresh. Yesterday I took the camera with me while going with Butterfly for a little walk aroud the neighbourhood.

Couldn't resist the camera as she is so cute in jeans and with the backpack she looks such a big girl! (she so loves bags, putting things in and carrying them, so why not a backpack..)






Just for the record - the previous day she wore boots and refused to go in any puddle. This time? Aren't puddles? fun???

[o.k will add that the boots aren't the most comfortable]




A girl and her bottle and her her mummy's keys!



Ahh it was a long hard walk. Let me freshen up with some water!

Tuesday, 15 November 2011

mums the word

[did you know that this expression comes from Shakespeare (or even earlier), mum an old word meaning silent?]

Well silent she still is :-(. Tomorrow she turns one year and five months. They say a baby should have their first word by a year and a half, so she has just one more month to produce those words, or else.... I am trying to remain calm amongst all those - oh, isn't she talking yet? She should be talking by now! Maybe you aren't talking to her enough? Why isn't she talking? Telling people that she is a bilingual and as such talking may be delayed. Moreso that her mother (i.e me..) also talked late [don't know when I said my first word, but my baby book says that at 18 months I said just three words...]. But you know, as much as I am trying to stay calm and when she'll be ready she'll speak (oh yeah, another one I'm told - how she won't stop babbling. yeah, can't wait for that), but inside I am very much worrying. What if there is something very wrong with her? She is very clever and understands so much it never seizes to amaze me and I don't think she's autistic or the likes (she makes beautiful eye contact), but maybe something else? Because I do have a feeling that not only are we not advancing on the speech level, but that she has gone back. She used to babble much more, and what's more I don't think I've heard her make two syllable sounds in ever so long.
But maybe she is trying to talk, to name things, and I just don't recognize? Lately she stands in the middle of the room and shouts very loudly "ma", and I have absolutely no idea what she wants (I ask - do you want this or that, and nope she doesn't want anything). The nanny says that her son taught my girl to say nigmar (=finished) when she has finished eating and that she says something like it (obviously not pronouncing the difficult "g"). I don't really know what and how she says because I haven't seen/heard it (they promised me a video!), so I don't know how true it is. But maybe I am the dumb one who doesn't understand her baby's talk!?
Anyway Sunday we have the 18 month check up at the child development centre (early due to a shot I won't be giving her..... well I am supposed to give her the third portion of the DT shot but she was a bit ill this week and she did have a bit of a bad reaction last time so anyway I'd like to delay it a bit, moreso with her being sick. but I don't want to delay this appointment because of, well above post..) so I'll see what she says there ["what she says", obviously the nurse, but can I think there might be a pan there? lol]
P.S
Can you see I am babbling nonsense as in last night we had a very BAD night and then wouldn't take her nap today and tonight.. I had to make three cups of tea, twice pouring it because it got cold because just when I was about to start drinking, madam woke up and wouldn't go back to sleep for some time??
o.k end.