Our first. Upon telling her the very sad news that a girl from our homeschooling group has just lost her father (I don't know how old he was, but he was a young guy. It seems he had a heart attack while playing basketball. I was so shocked and sad to hear the news), upon telling her about it and stupidly saying that now E has only a mummy [okay, there is a learning curve also for parents..] Butterfly said she wanted a daddy. I did explain that she never had one and probably never will [I do not see myself in the future with a guy let alone a guy that could be a father to my daughter]. I asked if she was sad about it and she said yes.
It was a very short conversation and we quickly moved on. She did not cry or seem too sad. I was thinking - yes, it is my fault you do not have a daddy, but also - if it weren't for me, you would not have been born.
[and can't stop thinking of the 5 yr old girl (and her baby brother and mother) who will grow up without a daddy - how in some ways it is the same as us, but how it is very much different.]
Saturday, 15 February 2014
- Purim is soon and I'm making Butterfly a fairy costume. At first we were going to be Bye-Bye Kitty (who would have a purple face = daughter's favourite colour, as opposed to Hello Kitty with her white face....), but fairies is the new thing! So I finished her skirt. Now I have to do my skirt, and then figure out how to do the wings and a wand (the wand shouldn't be a problem, it's the wings I'm not sure how..).And oh yes, we are both dressing up. My mother said that was weird. I think it is nice for a mother and daughter to dress up together.
- Speaking of fairies.. She asked my mother the other day what are fairies made from (I wasn't around). It seems my mother told her fairies are not real. Hmmm.. Perhaps it was a good thing mother told me this only after I gave my answer. Because fairies are not real? What about the Tooth Fairy? I know we have a few years for that, but I am pondering whether I go with the Tooth Fairy or not. Anyway, since we have a book about how she came to be (sperm donor + IVF) and she sometimes asks me what was she made from, and since I explain that she was made from an egg and a sperm - I chose to tell her that fairies are made from sperm and an egg and fairy dust. Not sure if that would be the best answer, but that is what I came up with..
Later my mother comes with a Disney DVD about fairies telling me there is an explanation in it of how fairies are made. Hmmm.. No. No, as I already gave my daughter an explanation and no because I really would rather not have my daughter watch a Disney movie.
- A dog!! We have a dog :-). [okay, technically he is my mother's]. I love that my child is growing up with animals. We have two cats (Michelle and Cat) and now my mum's dog. My sister who lives next door has two dogs (the younger one, Lola, sharing my daughter's birthday!). Both our dog [Flippy, as my daughter named him..] and Lola are best friends which is wonderful!
- We had/have a bit of a social issue. We meet with our homeschooling group once or twice a week. But for various reasons we didn't come for some time. When we came back she would not play with any of the kids, saying they are not her friends and that they do not want her. Now it is not like before she was great friends with the other kids, but she would go along and try to join. Speaking with other mothers they talked about the importance of having a play-date with only one kid, so that when the kids meet with everyone, they have someone they know a bit more. Finally I arranged a play-date with this other girl (H). They played wonderfully together! Unfortunately since then Butterfly was a bit ill and couldn't go to the homeschooling meetings or to H (as we planned).
- And speaking of being ill.. A bit of coughing and a temperature (mainly at night). Mostly she was fine as she usually is when ill but still I had to stay at home with her (so she doesn't pass it on to others). Grrrr... a whole week of not meeting with other kids..
- Today she was playing with her cousin who lives next door. It is so fun to watch the two girls play together. They can spend hours running around playing whatever. Love that!
- Yesterday Butterfly rode with me on my bike! That is a big yay because a couple of months ago I tried to re-introduce my bike to her. I used to take her on my bike, but then she got her balance bike and for about a year and a half my bike was put aside. Well, I took her for a ride and she got scared and didn't want anymore. My bike since was not talked about. Anyway yesterday my little monkey was climbing on my bike in order to get to her boot that was stuck in a high bush (my bike being parked right under that bush) and since she was there she said lets ride. We did a little ride (unfortunately after all this time sitting idle, my bike needs air!) which was great. So yay for my little girl who overcame her fear :-).
- And last of all I will tell you that my sister just had a baby and how I feel ever so jealous. Yes, I do have a child, and I am so lucky to have her and so grateful. I know that some of my readers don't yet have even one child and here am I feeling complaining about a second child. And tomorrow we are to visit my sister and new born for the first time. I do not want to go. I do not want to see this baby. I do not want to hear about the birth [a home birth :-(. I would love to have a home birth]. I do not want to look at new-born pictures of the older kids and wow about their similarities. I just don't want to go, but I will, and I will fake it, oh well..