Sunday, 17 February 2013

We were at the playground, when I saw Butterfly needed to pee. Rewinding to just before we left when she asked me to go to the playground and I really didn't feel like carrying the potty so I asked her if it will be okay if we don't take the potty and she said yes. Ha. So I see she needs to go, but nonetheless she refuses to go on the grass etc only to pee in her trousers. This phase is so so so frustrating! and annoying. So we headed home, me now carrying her bike (because she can't ride with her wet clothes [going to the playground was spontaneous so we didn't take spare clothes]).

Anyway that's just as a background.. So we are nearing home. She is happily climbing the wall she always likes to climb, we might have cut the playground short (but it was really getting dark, so anyway we would have been heading home shortly after) but we were fine. So we were nearing home when she spots some puddles and... goes running straight in. Yes she loves splashing in puddles (who wouldn't!), but... please not with those shoes! Our kind of last pair for now as the other pairs of shoes have also seen their share of mud. Errr... I also have the knowledge of us needing shoes for tomorrow* morning. So I flipped. I really did. I run up to her and violently pulled her out of the puddle. Yes, I was embarrassingly too violent. She was crying. Damn. I don't want to be that kind of parent.

* tomorrow morning. sigh. wake up early, go and have an u/s and a blood test to see that I haven't yet ovulated. It's will be cd23 and while writing these lines I do know I haven't ovulated. This is so! not typical of me, because I usually ovulate very much on time. But then being sick this week (I've been going to sleep while breastfeeding B to sleep, only to wake up next morning - that is so not me) was not typical, and maybe the egg feels that something is not right and so won't let go. [oh, feeling now much better!]

Lately I am just feeling that I'm too cross at her. Yes, she is at that age (amazing but at 2.5 something does switch and they do become so much more difficult). She's defiant, wants to do things her way, by herself. She is strong and very much has a will of her own. Yesterday not wanting to give me a hand to cross the road because she wants to do it herself, folding her arms**. She's becoming really not easy. Or maybe it's me with the pressure of those papers I need to hand in, and then not being myself this week. Anyway I am really not pleased with my parenting lately. I need to find other ways to cope.


** she started folding her arms when going on the bus, so I don't hold her, because she wants by herself! Too cute. But one thing is a bus (worse  case, I guard her with my body), the road is something else, and no you can not cross the road by yourself.

P.S
On a positive note - she loves counting and many times I would hear her "counting" this or that. counting correctly from 1-10 only skipping the four [doesn't every child have a "favourite" number they skip? lol].
She is also so much more talking. And singing! She sings almost non stop :-).

3 comments:

Tiara said...

Many times I am kicking myself for speaking harshly to Elena when she was just being a kid. Don't beat yourself up.

Little One said...

When SR first started counting she always skipped number two...thanks for the reminder :) Good luck with everything T42.

Laraf123 said...

So many times, I have been the parent I don't want to be :(
It's a hard thing to realize and really look at BUT I think that the fact we can point out where we come up short means that we ARE already that better parent that we know we can be. Does that make sense? (The shorter version is: we all have our moments and they are just that moments.) Hang in there--you are a wonderful mommy.