my bad mummy moment - circumstances not so much important, mainly she was tired and I was trying to get her to go to sleep, and now she wanted to eat. Anyway I got very cross (I was actually already hot from something that had nothing to do with daughter) and opened and closed cupboards with a bang. To which my little sweet daughter came up to me for a hug. URG. Yes, we had a long and tight hug, but this is not how I want it to be.
Lately, it's been difficult. Two was wonderful, absolutely great! Yes, there was the week in which she woke up at 4 am and screamed [thank you sister for reminding me....] and the odd tantrum, but mostly it has been a time of growing, of becoming a child, of developing language skills and very basic social ones, of becoming more able to do things whether to jump from a high point without hands or doing a somersault or cutting with scissors [=her hair! did I tell you about how she cut off a big chunk of her hair? lol]. But three? [yes, bad mummy moment number two. My daughter had a birthday and I didn't blog about it :-( I do hope to do something to celebrate her birthday, but really I hadn't had the time (plus didn't yet have a party)]. Okay three is bad. She is crying (that is, real cry, not her pretend playing she is her baby cousin and therefore crying, because babies cry, which can go on for quite some time, I just learned to tune off..) a lot, wining and just plain being difficult. And I am very much back to shouting at her.
So I want to start this not shouting challenge for a year again, this time maybe documenting the process on a blog, I think I'd rather do so on a new blog, not sure if private or what. Though it will have to wait as I am in the - tests/papers to hand in time zone plus a last minute project of moving all the blogs I read to my favourites as google reader will seize to exist at the end of the month and I still don't have an alternative reader :-(.