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Friday, 5 March 2010


I've postponed buying maternity clothes because I was (am) still managing with what I have and more so because it's not one of my favourite activities (to say the least). But lately I am feeling less and less comfortable with my clothes.

So.... the time has come to buy me some clothes. The name of a certain market came up again and again as a great place to find nice and cheap maternity clothes, so I decided to go and see. Was supposed to go with a friend, but, oh this is going to be a rant and deserves a new paragraph..

This friend and I, we don't talk too often and really hardly ever meet up. Personally I don't so much enjoy talking to her on the phone, since a conversation with her lasts like almost for ever. I might be a Gemini (well I am..) which are known to like talking on the phone or wherever, but I don't. And she goes on and on and on. And I wouldn't mind that too much (it's not like we talk too often), except somehow it felt like she was calling me when she wanted my help or to vent, but then she forgot my birthday. And she is an old friend, and she should know when my birthday is! [wow, maybe it's a good thing I don't have a hubby.. I can imagine myself furious with him for forgetting our anniversary or the date of our first this or that.. lol] So I kind of lost contact with her. About the time when I got my positive (actually it was a day or two before, when I was so sure it was a negative..) she renewed the connection. Once I entered the second trimester, I told her about the pregnancy and happened to mention how I should buy maternity clothes. Turns out that she planned on going to the said market that Friday (it's a Fri morning market), so we planned on meeting then. Somehow it didn't work out, i.e she couldn't and I was in no rush. But as I said at the beginning, it has now become time to do so. So we spoke again and planned on going together today.
We set a meeting point at a nearby bigger and easier to get to town and a time [which sounded quite late as I heard that you really have to be there early to find good stuff, but she does live that much further so o.k]. Then last night she phones, asking to set the time even later (which I grind my teeth to, but so be it) and asked me to take her cell number with me, just in case..... I will just add that I do not own a cell phone and I manage perfectly well without one. If we set a time and place, then that should be o.k. Yes, I do take into account the unexpected and being somewhat late because this or that, but still within a reasonable time. I have never had problems with this. She said that I should have her number just in case something went wrong (with her!) and to phone and see why/what happened. I insisted that that wasn't necessary. She even at one time mentioned how she lives in the modern era. Yes, I do not have a cell phone, or a T.V or a credit card [say what?? she doesn't have a credit card?? how does she.....], oh, and I'm going to do cloth diapering (and hopefully EC), and some may look at me and think in what age am I living, but I am more than happy. And you know, I could have written her number just to please her, but then I know her. I know it would mean she would be late (or not come at all), I know that taking her number would mean to her that she can just cancel the next morning. So we canceled. ( I think I'd rather know in advance she won't be coming than going to this town and waiting and waiting and then hearing her excuse.
And I don't know if it is pregnancy related or not. Don't know if it was about seeing me with a belly or just the bother of going to this market. She is 39 and single and does want kids (one day..), but she is not really doing anything about it, not attempting to become a parent via sperm donation and not going the shared parenthood route. I understand giving up on the ideal man-woman-child is not easy, but time is not in her favour. I did try and urge her to at least register at one of the banks, as today the waiting time is about half a year (except in the private bank [yes, "the" as in one..] but where prices are also much higher), which gives her half a year to think and digest (and even then, she can decide not to. She can choose a donor and still not go ahead [if she doesn't pay the donor will not necessarily be reserved for her, but still]). I don't want to cause her pain, but in doing nothing it seems she is making her choice. But as I said, maybe it is not pregnancy related, I really don't know (she did seem really and genuinely happy when I told her, and I'm sure not the first pregnant woman in her life).

So.. I decided that as much as I hate shopping, and as much as I dislike the idea of going alone, it is something that I had to do. And you know what, if I'm not going with her, then I can go as early as I want! And so I did. And I actually think that going with someone, would have made me buy less because I would be less sure and all, so I am actually pleased I went alone, and pleased with what I bought!
First I bought these two pairs of trousers. Wasn't too pleased with how they sat on me (which was funny how I tried them on - he gave me a big skirt which I wore, then took off my trousers, then put on the new ones and took of the skirt to see.. Later on it would just be trying them on over my clothes..), but I couldn't see any other place with maternity clothes, so better than nothing.. I then (at another stand) tried on some T-shirts. I really need/want big shirts. One woman, as I took the shirt off asked me what size it was (lol she was buying for someone..) and then another mentioned these are men's wear. Hmmmm.... so what? Then I found some nice trousers, though not maternity, they have an elastic at the waist so seems o.k. And the best thing - as they are 7/8 they fit me fine!! Yes, I do not have to take them in to be shortened.. And only then did I find the stall with the maternity clothes. The one that everyone talks about. So of course I had to buy something there as well - a shirt and a pair of trousers. At home when I tried these clothes on (and not on top of my own clothes) it was - boy are these clothes comfortable! And how I look pregnant with the shirt! (unfortunately they only had long sleeves shirts, so I just bought one. I think I'll go back in a month or two just to get some shirts..).
So all in all, very pleased with myself today (and I even went to the seamstress to have them fixed and didn't put it of till later as is my habit..).


battynurse said...

Glad you were able to get the shopping done on your own. I had a friend like that once who no matter what I asked her to do I knew she would probably cancel at the last minute. You get to the point where you quit expecting them and quit asking.


It's so great when you can find maternity clothes that fit and are nice! So many of them are just awful looking. But there are a lot out there that are fairly fashionable. It's always so funny, too, when you start wearing your pants up to your breasts. All in the name of comfort!

Paige said...

I bet you look like one hot mama!

Anonymous said...

Nothing irritates me more than not being able to count on someone to keep their word! I'm getting mad just thinking about it!

Glad you got some comfy clothes though, see, you didn't really need the no-show's help!

Jess said...

I agree with Rachel!! that makes me mad also. I always stick with what I say I'm going to do and dont like it when people flake out on you.
Also I dont like shopping either and dont like shopping for maternity clothes. Especially since you wont really need it soon after baby is born.

Hera said...

I think it's really kind of you to be thinking about her and willing to offer her advice. It seems she was completely "ify" from the start and I bet you're right - this was about the pregnancy...

Jules said...

Just returning the visit from Stirup Queens.

I'm not a shopper at the best of times, & during pregnancy I only bought a pair of maternity jeans & a pair of maternity work pants.