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Monday, 15 March 2010

An Unperfect Moment

Thursday is the day I pick up my nephew from gan*. Now that my mum's away (went on a vacation to New-Zealand), I also pick him up on Mondays. At the beginning of the year I was always early enough to sit outside and enjoy watching the kids in the nearby playground. I now usually leave last minute, but I'm still always there amongst the first (i.e I just don't sit waiting outside). And I love being one of the first to pick up the child. I love that he doesn't have to sit waiting for those parents to come. More so I love the look on his face when he sees someone has come to pick him up [usually they call out his name when I'm still outside and I miss that little moment. Last Thursday she didn't notice me, so I got to see his happy face...].
And today... ooops I forgot! Forgot I now pick him up also on Mondays. Sister phoned to ask what is happening, so I quickly dashed to get him. Poor kid. All the other children were long gone **, him being the last. He was so sad with his head down and all. I even led the conversation to his Ben10 clothes and to Ben10 himself (which I am so completely sick of hearing about. It is Ben10 this and Ben10 that, almost non-stop. Oh, but while I'm at the subject, can I tell you what L [my nephew] told me the other day? That Ben10 never gets dressed [in fact he always wears the same clothes!], never washes or brushes his teeth, and never ever eats!).
And I know it happens, but it's still not a nice feeling to have forgotten a kid. Luckily it was the last Monday as next week they are on Pesach holiday.

* (=kindergarten) Sorry but I prefer the Hebrew word here, because: a. that is the word we use even when speaking English; b. I'm always confused what exactly the term kindergarten means. Gan is for all those years before school and first grade.

** O.K, in the name of correctness I have to say there were plenty of kids in the gan, but as the place now (i.e after hours) functions as an afternoon child care facility (and he obviously doesn't belong), it is really like he was alone there.

And can I rant some more.. For about a week now I have this pain in my hmmmm... butt. I thought it was unrelated to p. but when I told my sister (who unfortunately is quite an expert on back problems) about it, she said it's the end of the nerve and must be related. Anyway it mainly hurts when I walk (which makes me have this funny duck walk), getting worse as the day progresses. It is not such a terrible pain, but it is very much an inconvenience.

And some more.. It's kind of a mix of some of the things I've read lately on the net, and this thing with my sister (not L's mum and not the one with back problems..) which I know is small and insignificant, but I think I'm rather emotional and took it quite hard. Anyway it got me thinking how me and my girly are alone in the world. How other people, however much they may care for you and want what's good for you, they still have their own agenda and their lives [again, it's not so much what happened with this sister, more these thoughts that arose]. Because it's just me and her, no other person to share this parenthood with, so I have to always be strong and do what's best for the girl [not that a couple don't, but when you are two raising a kid, you can let go sometimes and let the other half cope or at least you have each other to deal with whatever needs dealing with together]. It was just this feeling of lonliness.

Oh, and can I add a rant about the weather??? Hot, sitcky, humid. Urgh!!


Dawn said...

I think many single moms (by choice or by accident) feel this sense of "aloneness" every once in awhile. We received a question kind of similar to this for our radio show this week on Single Parenthood by Choice. It can feel especially overwhelming during pregnancy. Hang in there. You do have a village to help you. Check out the Creating a Family show on this topic this week. It's on Wed., March 17 and will be online & archived by 1:30 Eastern Time US. http://www.creatingafamily.org/radioshow.html

Dawn Davenport
Creating a Family

Quiet Dreams said...

I think gan is more like "preschool" than kindgergarten (even though it probably encompasses kindergarten). In the US, kindergarten is the year in school before 1st grade, maybe pre-1st. Some places also have "pre-k" (pre-kindergarten). The way I see it, in English we distinguish a lot the different stages before 1st grade, but in Hebrew it's just "gan."

That was probably way more explanation than you were looking for!
Here's hoping your aches and pains get better.

Billy said...

Thanks Dawn, will watch (probably the archive).

I think gan includes also pre-school and kindergarten in American English, but I think it has the same meaning (as the Hebrew gan) in British English.

And oh, while just the word "gan" refers to all those years before school, we do have our distinctions!
Gan Hova - is the last year before school (probably equivalent to the American kindergarten, school here being first grade and on).
Gan Trom Hova - is the year before Gan-Hova.
Gan Trom Trom Hova (or just Trom Trom) is the year before.. That would usually be 3 year olds.
Before that could be just gan or day care.

Paige said...

Billy, I'm right there with you feeling the pressure of being the only one and I'm not even pregnant yet. You will do great and you have many people who will support you.

I've forgotten my neice before too. It's a terrible feeling but luckily little ones forgive quickly.

Thinking of you....

battynurse said...

Sorry about the unperfect moment. I would agree that a lot of single moms likely feel this from time to time and some more than others. Hang in there, I hope the pain improves too.

Genkicat said...

I hear you. Sometimes I look at my little girl, and am sad that no one loves her like I do. I do feel alone sometimes.

Jess said...

I'm sorry your feeling this way! Your family will love her just as much as you do!!