Saturday, 3 May 2008

Who knows?

My psychologist talks a lot about what kind of support I have for the process. I, on the other hand, prefer not to tell people too much. My family knows and supports me which is very good and very important. I couldn't have possibly started any procedure without their blessing. I heard of many cases in which the woman informed her family only when pregnant. I don't know their story and don't know anything about their lives. I know that for me that wouldn't work! So my family knows and I have their support, which as I said is great, but I don't want to tell them every time I have an insemination, or every time it fails or god knows what. Don't want them to know every detail but probably need them to be in the background. I suppose it's a delicate balance.
Well anyway, I didn't really want to tell them I've actually started inseminations, but somehow they all (well almost all) got to know, and each by a different occasion. Its a bit funny, if you think about it.

So sister no.1 knew because she paid for the sperm. Well she didn't really pay for it, rather she owes me some money, and since I don't hold a credit card, it makes life much easier if she pays by card using the money she owes me. I thought of asking her to buy a few doses at once, so that I won't have to inform her every time.. but I'm not sure if that's wise (do I get my money back if I and when I succeed?).
Sister no.5 - well I thought I might need some moral support for the actual procedure, so I asked her to come with me. She was more than willing, but unfortunately the day of the insemination was the one day she couldn't.. Actually it was better like that. I suppose that had she come, I would have felt much more nervous and anxious.
From sister no.6 I wanted some advice, so I had to inform her, and sister no.3 who lives next door when asked what's happening, after I told all my other sisters (no, there's no number missing.. I also have a brother, and there's me, of course..), I couldn't not tell her..
So after the failer, I had to tell them one by one of the negative outcome.
I think for the next times, I prefer not having them all know..

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