Tuesday, 11 November 2008

A Letter to my Shrink

Dear .....

You pin-pointed today correctly - I was angry (although I of course denied being so) at an injustice in the world, but the injustice I felt was more in the room itself.

A while ago I thought I saw you had a little belly, and thought - oh, so you're pregnant, but straight away dismissed that, you probably just put on some weight.

And today I was moody. Didn't really want to talk about anything. It's the end of the TWW plus I'm really not feeling well that probably enhanced my inwardness.
But looking at you tummy, your big and most probable pregnant tummy made me feel angry at you. I wasn't completely sure (since we were sitting, got the confirmation when our meeting ended and you stood up), so although I was thinking of asking, I decided not to. Yes, I know I should have put the cards on the table, let you know why I'm really upset.

And do you want to know why I'm really upset? Yes, out of all the people, my therapist is the last person I would like to see getting knocked up so easily (of course I don't really know and you too might have been trying for some time, but somehow I vision you and partner just doing it the old fashioned and enjoyable way. But what do I know). But what really bothered me was the fact that you haven't told me, just waited for me to discover it by myself, and it's not something one won't figure out sometime along the line (and yes, I probably took my time..). All these sessions I'm talking about trying to get there, while you are...

Yours, Billy.

8 comments:

Michal said...

That's really not nice, to leave it for you to discover.
I can only imagine how upsetting it is to find yet another pregnant woman in your close circle :-/.

Billy said...

Didn't know you were still reading.. |flower|

QueenYogi said...

That's really insensitive to not put that card on the table. I wonder why she wouldn't tell you? It'll all be ok. Love and light being sent your way. :)

Dora said...

Ugh! Billy, I'm so sorry. That's really unprofessional of her. I don't think I could continue seeing her if I were you.

heavyheart2008 said...

Hey Billy..why dont you discuss your feelings with her straight out.. gently of course..atleast she wont repeat it to others and you would feel better about having confronted the issue..

Mo and Will said...

Billy,

I'm nwe to the blogosphere but not to infertility and loss, unfortunately. What happened to you totally STINKS. And as a mental health professional, I have to say was a really bad on your therapist's part. You have every right to be mad at her!

Mo
www.lifeandloveinthepetridish.blospot.com

Naomi said...

it would be one thing if we were talking about your hairdresser or whatever, but this is your therapist...she should've known better. how crappy of her. i'd get a new therapist. the person you're paying to help you shouldn't also be the source of aggitation.

Meg said...

Not cool, of all people I would have expected your therapist to be more considerate of your feelings. I agree that you should tell her how you feel about her leaving it for you to discover.