I am planning on having sister #1 with me during birth as well as my doula. I asked the doula to arrange a backup just in case she can't come (though I would rather not have some stranger, I guess if she can't come, it's better than nothing..). As for my sister, I arranged for sister #3 to be #1's backup.
I really want #1 attending my birth. Besides doing this before with my other sister (#6), I know she would go with me and my desires. But I also know a first birth can be very long, and maybe she'll need some relief, a little break, so I asked sister #3 to step in. I was never too thrilled with her, as I am not sure how far she'll go with my wishes.
Anyway, last night, mentioning how I don't want my baby washed in the hospital, she started saying how that is not up to me, rather the hospital's policy. I tried arguing with her that I, as the mother, have the right over my child, and if I don't want her washed, she should not be washed. But sister insisted that if hospital decided that yes she should be washed, then I can't do anything about it. An approach that really annoyed me! I don't want someone to go with the hospital policy, rather I need someone to be with me and my wants. As I will probably not be in such a condition to stand for myself, I need someone who beyond knowing how I want, will also demand that I get what I want. So no, I can't have her as a backup.
So now the question is who can I ask to be a backup? (or maybe I leave #1 without a backup?). Sister #6 will be ideal as she very much has the same ideas as me regarding birth. She gave birth at home (something I'd love to do, but can't) with no drugs etc, so she also has experience with this kind of birth. But.. I do not want her in my birth, not to mention that she lives a bit far and has two little ones so not really a likelihood she would be able to even if I wanted her. Sister #5? No birthing experience and not sure how far she'd go with what and how I want (she's a bit like sister #3 in this respect - both caring an loving, but don't so much understand that the hospital doesn't necessarily have the final word. That a patient can make requests out of the ordinary). So sisters are out (#2, besides being my brother also doesn't live her in Israel, and #4 is me..).
Started thinking maybe my mother can be the one. I don't really want her in the birth itself, but maybe she is not such a bad option? And I am only talking about a backup here, hoping sister #1 will be able to be with me and be the whole time. Something to think about..
I actually doubt this hospital I chose will have any problems with this request of mine.. (or for that matter any of my requests, that's why I chose them. I still need someone I know will be there for me).