First, sorry for being such a terrible blogger.
Second, tonight was a really bad night putting Butterfly to sleep. It is rarely easy with her, but tonight (with no nap this afternoon, and being very tired after the swimming pool, and the heat, and a nervous mother who just wanted her daughter to fall asleep already, etc) it was really really difficult. I am exhausted but I want to write this so somewhere it will be recorded [you know, for B in the future...].
I'll start by mentioning how she got over this barrier of putting two words together, and now does it freely [last time I posted I felt a shift in the air. until then she was quite "stiff" with it]. And I think she is now beginning to realize that she can do three!! Anyway I was going all educational with her [something I try not to..] telling her how this and that animal breastfeeds (has tzitzi [=boob]), and then going on to tell he that the birdy doesn't have tzitzi. And she, learning her lesson says so cutely - no birdy tzitzi.
Okay, now all this introduction was more for the cuteness of it. Anyhow, right after saying no birdy tzitzi, she out of the blue said - 'no daddy' (not sure but I think even - 'no daddy A.nnie', A.nnie being the name she calls herself). I will admit that this is not the first time (maybe the third) and I don't know what and/or how much she understands. I think the first time she said it, I was mentioning her grandfather (my dad..). But it still makes your heart pinch a little.
And then there's the daddy song on the disc. About this kid saying how great his dad is [my dad has a ladder so high it reaches the sky, etc...]. Lots of discussions on the SMC board about whether or not to hear it or skip it and the feelings it causes. I agree with the consensus, saying it is a classic song and you can't keep the world out. My mother suggested changing it ti mummy. Well for start, while I am singing along, it is not me whose singing, and the words are the words.. But more than that, at some point both I and fatherless daughter have to deal with it. Better not starting with hiding behind and avoiding. But again, even through I sing along with a clear mind that I am not going to treat this song any way different, there is still that pinch in the heart. [that plus the song that ends in a side tone - 'so why when I sang him a song that he loves, he closed his eyes and fell asleep']
4 comments:
Oh my empathy on the sleep department. I am sure it must be very draining for both of you.
Also, that fatherless bit is a tough and tricky thing to deal with, with a kid. Good Luck handling that issue with your daughter.
We certainly deal with the father issue early...much earlier than I anticipated. We're not quite there yet but I look to you moms how are. My hope is to tackle the subject in a very open honest direct way so E doesn't have any shame about it & also not focus on her not having a daddy but rather what she does have, lots of loving friends & families
I love how she is putting meaning to breastfeeding and connecting it to animals. That's amazing. SR is also realizing about daddy - she says "Dora daddy" when reading her Dora books. For now it's just an observation and she might not even realize that a daddy is like a mommy and that some people have them. Most of our playdates are with moms and babies.
We are having major sleep issues here as well. When does this parenting thing get easier?!!!
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