Thursday, 6 September 2012

Still PUPO?

Probably not.
Amazing how I am always optimistic in the first week and then pessimistic in the second.. But this time I was not just optimistic that first week, I was absolutely sure I was pregnant! Really. It was just a matter of time until I get that lovely beta, not whether.. And I was marveling at how wonderful it would be - time-wize, this child should be born between me and my daughter's birthday, how nice to all celebrate together. More than that, it's perfect from work perspective as it is just before the summer holiday and so I wouldn't miss much work (I'm a freelancer so no work=no pay). And how lovely it would be to have such a story of #2 being actually older than #1... [and yes, I now remember I did start being a bit pessimistic right after the transfer but your comments cheered me up :-)]. And a first unmedicated cycle - no issues with yes/no/how/when breastfeeding! I was so positive this was it, that I even felt love for this little embryo. I was having no real symptoms (except some mild feelings/cramps in my lower abdomen) but that was okay as it really is so early in the game!

 This second week? I've turned absolutely sure it's a negative. My breasts did hurt me the other day, and as clear as the blue sky that was how it felt when I was pregnant. Looking up old posts to my first IVF cycle, the one that a. failed and b. I was on the same support as I am now (endometrin, though twice a day now as opposed to three times a day three years ago) to compare if/what I felt. I really had to "try hard" to actually "feel" something back then. So....... But maybe it is just the support? As it was just a one time thing, I take it as just a fluke, as the progesterone I am taking going to my breasts and not a baby [I did take my two doses closer together than usual and this feeling happened not long after the second dose]. And I know that I haven't gotten the negative yet, but it just sucks. As I said, I absolutely know I am not (and one way or the other, I will be absolutely correct! lol).
The pathetic thing is my endomitrin pills will be finished on Sunday but Monday is when I am to test (I will need at least to take the morning dose, and as I forgot to ask the doctor to write emergent on the referral, maybe also the second one of the day). And do I open a new pack just for one (or two) pills!? in case I am not pregnant, if I am I am to continue taking them. It's psychological more than anything else. Anyway I have come up with a plan :-). Even if I am positive and I test on Monday, I probably will get a low number. So better to wait a few days..Anyway isn't the two week wait supposed to be two weeks?? lol. So I will buy a home pregnancy test, and early Wednesday morning poas (yeah, still have a twinge of hope left) and then leave to have my blood drawn  That way I won't have to keep pressing the refresh button on the site where I see the blood results.


On other news. good news this time - I have been accepted to the translation degree!! The other day I went for a test and an interview, and boy was that test hard! Well mainly the part where I had to explain words from a passage in the same language (there was one in Hebrew and one in English). They were really difficult passages with difficult words! But I did have a good feeling and didn't think they expected me to know all those words. Anyway the same day I got an email telling me I have been accepted - how lovely!

6 comments:

Tiara said...

Congratulations on being accepted for the translation degree!

Still keeping my fingers crossed that you are preggers! Keep hope alive, lol!

Laraf123 said...

I'm glad your not so hopeful news is tempered with the news of your acceptance into the program. What an emotional see-saw.

Shannon said...

Hoping your first thought - that you are pregnant - was the right one!

Congratulations on the translation degree program!

Little One said...

Keep taking the meds....even though mine ended in m/c, at the beginning my betas were dropping before they even hit 100...and after a week, they started to climb...refill the meds and take them until you are absolutely sure. Still wishing you sticky baby dust....

BTW, after my Frozen Embryo Transfers, I tested after 8 days and 9 days (different pregnancies) with b/w...my clinic doesn't make you wait two weeks. You should know before 14 days.

Congrats on being accepted into the program. Thinking of you.

Billy said...

Thanks :-)

The clinic actually told me to test on Monday as it was a 3 day transfer (together that adds to 2 weeks - Little One, I assume had a 5 day transfer. And I can go in any day to have it done.

But change of plan.. since now I see I have enough pills to last me till Monday morning and I am more than certain it's a negative, I will test on Monday (no point of opening a new box of pills which yes, I will take until I get the Beta results..)

FruitFish said...

How exciting about the translation degree!
And how did I miss the PUPO post?!!! So sorry about that :(
Indeed what a story that would be, that number two is "older" than Butterfly :) *sticky vibes your way*