Saturday, 26 April 2008

help¬helped¬helper¬helping¬helps

Wow, I have so much to write about! I thought that I'll write one post about the past, the next about where I am currently standing, and continue from there. But writing the first post I realized I had to break it down into smaller parts..

In this post I would like to discuss the issue of being a single parent. It's not so easy being the sole caregiver of an infant. Luckily I am surrounded by a family who is willing to lend a helping hand now and then. I have my single mother's by choice forum as a support group (it's important for us also for the kids to physically see that they are not the only ones with no dads, that there are other kids in their same situation, but also as a platform for discussing issues that are unique for us) and my friends who support me and of course my ever so important support of my family.
My family.. I was suprised how I cried when I first spoke to my father about this and more so how he so quickly gave his blessing. He knew it was important for me to become a mum, and if this is the way, then this is the way. I was also surprised to hear my mother's positive respond. I was a bit disappointhed with the initial reactions of my sisters - wait a year or two; you are not trying hard enough to date (no, but that won't change, especially if all I'm thinking about is a baby..) etc. Well, as I said those were their initial reaction and now they are very much supportive. But even so I fear the uneasiness in which I might ask my mother to help me out as opposed to how freely my sister can ask her for help. My sister quite recentally had her first child and got a lot of help from our mother. It seems quite natural - a young couple, a new born baby, grandma to the rescue. But what about when you are a single parent - is it still legitimate to expect help? If you are two, doing it the "proper" way, then if you need help, you need help. I feel as though although I probably would need more help than my sister, I will be in a position where I am supposed to ask for less help. In a position - I think it's a combination between my own feelings on the subject and my understandings from things my sister said. I decided that this is how I will become a mother, so I have to live with all the consequences - the hardships are mine, as well as the pleasures. Well, I really hope that when time comes and I should need assistance, that I should feel no less (and no more, but that goes without saying..) than any other sister of mine to ask for help..

No comments: