I think it was Wednesday when I had the cramps. Actually it was so mild I'm not sure I can call it cramps.. And that made me so happy. Googling what's happening this week, I read how my uterus is stretching itself and how I might feel some cramps. Well yes, everything is fine and happening like it should! (although not quite sure I understand - according to what I read, while my uterus is the size of a grapefruit, little Birdy is the size of a grape. That's plenty of space, no? Oh well, my body probably knows best, and if it wants my uterus to expand now, so be it..).
Add to that the no bleeding yesterday, which to tell the truth I kind of expected (the not bleeding, that is) and maybe the time that's passing leading me deeper and deeper into pregnancy, and I am one happy camper. Just feeling so zen about it. And you know what, the almost lack of symptoms, the no morning sickness the very mild (if) nausea, just runs in the family - seems none of my sisters or mother suffered too much from the above. So I guess I'm just lucky :-).
Happy. Happiness has finally sank in :-). As I said, time factor probably has a big part. No, I'm still in the dreaded first trimester and have about another month of that, but hey - by now nothing can go wrong! Yes, I haven't experienced a miscarriage, and surely had I had such a terrible thing happen, I wouldn't be so calm and relaxed, but I haven't and I am calm and relaxed.
I also wanted to talk about this movement therapy I'm doing. This woman who is finishing her training as a movement therapist (well, not exactly sure how it's called in En) offered on a fertility board to guide a group. At the time I was in the middle of my two (three) week wait. I was certain that I was up for another negative, and working on my body, giving it a different, more positive experience than what I was doing to it (you know, all those shots and blood tests and scans and hormones etc). But then came my positive, and I was not sure whether I fit in. After all it is a group for those who are trying to conceive, and I... We were (are, she's going to try "selling" this group again, hoping more people will join) a very small group (only three!). Not sure about my place, it was nice to hear one of the other participants say how my positive makes her optimistic.
And then there was today's session with only me and the above person. We begin each session by telling others what happened this week. And she started (I am always too shy to start..) and what a difficult week she had, fertility and other stuff. Eventually she burst into tears and had a good cry (later she said how it did her good to get it all out). And I was sitting there, not able to put a hand around her or something. As she calmed down, she pointed to me and said it was my turn.. How can I say how wonderful I feel about this pregnancy, how I am in this clam, when she is after yet another cycle that didn't work?? So we decided to start with the moving and later, if I felt up to it, I would talk. And so I told about my "adventures" (including seeing the heart beat [because I missed previous session due to the bleeding] and the bleeding and the shortness of breath [I thought I was coming up with something until suddenly it hit me - it's not me it's the med. Sure enough, googling Gestone, shortness of breath is one of the side effects.. anyway it was only three days] etc). And then she thanks me! Said how hearing all these little details, with the worries and the excitements and all, how this all gives her hope.
Again I am not sure if I belong (back then I still had the bleeding and the somewhat worry that gave me (in my eyes) the right to be. And with the recruiting of new people.. She might be moving the group to a new location which will be too out of the way for me, if that happens, problem solved :-). But I do so much enjoy it.