Sunday, 11 October 2009

46614

Oh wow, I guess I'm not getting rid of this little bean that easy.. (no, 9 months and the hard way! Gosh, don't want to think of that!).
Thank you all for your support, it meant a lot to me!

Funny, when I thought I probably lost it, when I thought it's going to be a not (because - me pregnant!? please!) I wasn't too sad. Like I really don't feel pregnant, and not just the lack of symptoms [which let me just update - something is beginning to happen in the boob department!] but really the unbelieving that it actually happened, like I was (am) too scared to get attached, in denial, more living in an in-between zone were I'm not having a period but also not injecting or going every other day to the clinic etc. So loosing it was kind of o.k (no, not really, I probably would have crashed if I got a low number today). What seemed totally unbearable is the thought of having to go through all of this again. I just couldn't.

So.. again was asked if pregnant at the lab. Oh, and now there's a new question (since I answered that I hope I still am) - what month are you in..
She put a red 'urgent' sticker on the vial and told me answers are due at 15:00 (so not! it was only in at 15:07, and I know as I was refreshing the page every so often!). And you know, seeing the number (I tried last night to work out what it should be so as to know what to expect. I know I'm bad at maths, but I came up with around 30,000..), I still don't feel that happy feeling. Just feel like I want to cry, oh my god, it really is happening..


MeAndBaby - I wanted to say something about how marvelous it is how we are almost together... but am too scared to jinx it for either one of us, so I'll keep my mouth shut!

14 comments:

Dora said...

Oh, I'm so relieved to see this!! YAY!

I totally understand about the weirdness of going from trying to actually being pregnant. At nearly 31 weeks, it's still kind of surreal for me.

Tanya said...

I'm so happy for you. The hard way is the BEST way after all.

Jackie said...

What a lovely number :)

Jess said...

That's Fantastic news!!!! :)
when do you go for an u/s?

battynurse said...

That looks like a pretty good number to me. Could be the bleed was just a bit of that normal bleed stuff that so many experience. Hope all continues just fine. hugs to you.

Quiet Dreams said...

pure relief in my little corner of the world...with a side of happiness for you :)

meandbaby said...

Oh Billy what a huge relief!! I've been stalking my reader on my phone but this is the first chance I have had to comment! So, so happy to read this!!

And yes, I agree but am not saying anything either due to the jinx factor. :)

Meg said...

Just now catching up and saw your fantastic news! So excited for you! Your latest beta is ROCKING!

Genkicat said...

Congratulations! Your number is amazing. When is your first ultrasound?

Jo said...

woo hoo!! *very* good news. I'm very happy for you.

Billy said...

:-)
First u/s - Tuesday (i.e - tomorrow!)

DRMOMOFTWO said...

PHEW! What a relief! That's really great news. Let's hope it's the last scare you get during this pregnancy (believe me, there will be plenty of scares when he/she comes out -- just wait for the teen years!). You'll feel much more of a connection to it as it starts to grow.

rachelbk said...

So happy and relieved! I can't wait for a post about a great u/s later!

SprtsGrl said...

Congratulations!!!!