40 (part I)

Today I've turned 40 :-). At 12:00 (noon) I have lived on this planet for 40 odd years - about half a life time :-). I do thank you girl for not showing up today (yes, the day's not yet over, but I doubt if she suddenly will be coming). I wouldn't want to share birthdays, let her have her day and I my day..

To celebrate my birthday, I went to a La Leche League meeting (just happened that the one in a nearby town holds these meetings every last Friday of the month and I just missed the previous one..). I thought I was going to hear a lecture, but it was really nice - we sat around and introduced ourselves (most were mothers) and asked questions, advice regarding breastfeeding. Good to hear from other people's experience what not, what yes, etc. And I liked that the counselors were open about using formula if necessary (I kind of expected a no way attitude. EDT I thought they'd be fanatic about breastfeeding, but they didn't seem so). It was a small group and a very friendly atmosphere. I think I'll make it a habit of going to these meetings :-).

Later on, when my family will come over to celebrate, I am planning on telling them her name. I try everyday to tell her her name, sometimes with an explanation, sometimes just singing it to her, but except for two other people with whom I consulted, nobody else knows her name. I didn't want to tell people her name too early, so that they won't try and pressure me to change it (you know, someone will always think it's not a good name..), and then I felt my house had to be much more prepared for her arrival before I could disclose her name. On the other hand, I do want to do so before she is born, when I can tell them all at the same time, and when I can also explain her name (thank you again girl for not showing up too early :-)). So, while my house is not 100% ready, it is very much ready, and I my birthday will be a good opportunity to tell :-).

And talking about celebrating, I was thinking if I want some kind of party for girl after she's born [we don't do showers here before the birth..] or not. Well, not so much if I want, because I do. I would like to since as a single mother, I didn't have my day getting married, so at least I'll have my day showing off my girl. But also because I don't want to feel like this girl is something to be ashamed of, as because she doesn't have a daddy I/she don't/doesn't deserve to celebrate her birth. But it also felt like I'd be asking too much from my parents who have already done a lot to help out. Well, talking about someone's else baby girl party, my mum asked if I'd also like to do something.. So I think around August :-).

And if I'm going back to house being prepared, then last night, I finally got round to sorting baby's clothes. Not so easy.. I started by putting them into piles I labeled - NB, 3-6 months, 6-12 months, etc. But then some clothes just said 6 months, so in what pile do I put them? Others said 6-9 months. Still others were labeled differently - size 1, 0 etc. And others had no label or a label that was faded, and I have NO IDEA.. O.k so I'll need help with the [big] question mark pile. Funny thing, I was looking at the NB pile, and they all seemed to have short sleeves. Now as much as it is summer and hot and all, I do understand that I need to dress her in two! long sleeves layers, so I couldn't understand how they are all with short sleeves. That was until I figured, those are long sleeves, I guess their arms are just short.. lol.
This weekend I plan on starting to wash them!

And talking about washing and preparing, I think my hospital bag, while things are not yet in the bag, is almost ready with the things to go in mostly ready or near ready. I think I am mentally ready (or nearing ready) to end pregnancy and start parenthood :-).

P.S
Thanks to Calliope, I finally got my three column blog that I wanted!

P.S.S
I am so sorry that I am so behind on blog reading.


EDT (between making a cake and teaching and coming and going didn't really proof read, and too many mistakes!). Well they all loved her first name :-). I was sure I'd get comments regarding this name. I did get a comment about her second name, more about how I'm going to spell it in Hebrew because of the meaning, but that is why I am spelling it like that!

Edited again to add.. well above was before talking to brother, lol! My very old fashioned narrow minded brother, the one who didn't understand why I have to go the sperm donor route and not the "normal" find a guy get married route, the one who doesn't understand my not wanting an epidural ("why suffer?" he asks. I do not see it as suffering, on the contrary!), the one who doesn't understand why I would want to use cloth diapers ("do you know how many you have to wash a day?". If I told him I'm planning EC he would have completly freaked out..), the one who had something to say about her name.. I'm smiling as I write this, I'm really not bothered by those opinions of his.