Thursday, 9 February 2012

Family Size - Blog Carnival


Welcome to the first Family Size Blog Carnival!

This post was written for inclusion in the Family Size Blog Carnival hosted by Kerry at City Kids Homeschooling and Patti at Jazzy Mama. Today our participants share their decisions on family size and whether or not to grow their families. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

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(My first blog carnival :-))

I have always wanted a big family. I come from a big family myself and while many times we didn't get along it was is nice to have all these brother (yeah, one) and sisters. But that's not in the stars for me :-). I am an SMC (Single Mother by Choice) to this amazing 19 month old daughter. I have always always always wanted to be a mother but you know, it's not enough just wanting ;-), and for years I believed that it may never happen. And then my beloved dog died and it wasn't immediately, more three years, but I've come to the decision that yes I can and I will be a mother to a human child. Because yes, I very much believe that while I had my dog to take care of and all, I couldn't take steps to becoming a mother. And you know the amazing thing? Egg met sperm and first cells of daughter were created [it was IVF so I know the date..] on the exact same date of my dog's death!

But do I stop at one? What about the spacing between my kids (if I have more than one)? Stopping at one was never an option for me, though for a while I was trying to live with the fact that maybe I will only have one child. And maybe I will, because I am not young and I might not succeed having another child, but I am going to try!
Ideally, I would have two or three children with very little spacing. Might be hard the first few years, but then these kids are friends for life! But then there is breastfeeding and fertility treatments, not always a good combination.. I remember reading this blog of a woman who weaned her child at six months although they both very much enjoyed breastfeeding, because she wanted to try for #2. It took her two years and donor eggs [or embryos, can't remember, neither an option for me] to succeed. I do not want to wean my daughter and then not be able to have that second child. But time is a factor, less on the spacing dream, more on that fact that at 41 my eggs are not best quality.. So I am now starting slowly to proceed, maybe actually starting treatments around her second birthday, giving her two years of breastfeeding. I am also trying to learn about fertility treatments and breastfeeding and if I really have to stop breastfeeding (I believe not, but I think it is also a matter of finding a doctor who will go with this).

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Visit City Kids Homeschooling and Jazzy Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Family Size Blog Carnival!

Please take some time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants below:

  • The Perfect Family The family at Living Peacefully With Children isn't perfect, but the size is just right for them...at least for now.

  • Family Size Carnival Zoie at TouchstoneZ discusses how she loves the extremes of being happily child-free for life to being a mom of several. And on knowing when her family is just the right size.

  • Is Adoption for Me? Christine at African Babies Don't Cry shares why she would consider adoption as the socially responsible way to have a large family.

  • Getting Used to Having Kids Lauren at Hobo Mama went from "probably one, maybe two" to wanting a handful, but not without some major struggles and soul searching along the way.

  • Magic Number For a while, Phoebe at Little Tinker Tales has wondered what the magic number will be for their family, but now thinks she's finally settled on an answer.

  • How Did You Get That Size Jorje explains how she "chose" her family size and why they aren't planning to grow again on Momma Jorje.com.

  • Family Size On A Per Kid Basis Sarah at Parenting God's Children shares how plans change as families grow.

  • More Babies: How, When, Why Joella at Fine and Fair writes to her daughter about when, how, and why she might get a sibling.

  • Family Size Kelly at Becoming Crunchy shares how she has no idea what size her family will end up being; though she used to be sure, a few factors have recently come up to change everything.

  • Thy Will Be Done CatholicMommy hasn't decided how many children she'll have. And she never will. Because, you know, she's Catholic.

  • Sanity and Health Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment talks about sanity and health considerations when deciding on her family's size.

  • Love Comes In All Sizes Melissa at White Noise and Mothers of Change shares her family's journey to becoming a family of six!

  • Family Size Liz at Homeschooling in Buffalo discusses how this carnival occurs less than two weeks after "closing up shop" by way of vasectomy.

  • Family Size Blog Carnival Billy, a single mother by choice, writes about the size of her family at My Pathway to Motherhood.

  • Creating Your Perfect Family Size Dr. Alan Singer shares insights from his new book, Creating Your Perfect Family Size.

  • Our Family Size You might not be surprised to learn that Patti at Jazzy Mama can't find any reasons NOT to have more babies.

  • Economics of Family Size Kerry at City Kids Homeschooling uses an economic cost-benefit analysis to determine her family's optimal size.


8 comments:

Kerry McDonald, M.Ed. said...

Billy, thank you so much for participating in today's blog carnival! How fun that this is your first carnival too!

I love hearing your perspective as a single mom by choice on family size, and it sounds like you have given the decision to grow your family lots of thought and consideration.

Best of luck to you as you begin the process again. I look forward to stopping by your blog more regularly!

-Kerry @ City Kids Homeschooling
http://cityhomeschooling.blogspot.com/

Patti said...

I love it that being 41 is not a big factor for you when deciding to have another baby. I'm 38 and I still intend to have at least 1 and probably 2 more babes. I feel lucky that I have excellent health and that my pregancies and births have been healthy, too, so I know that continuing have babies into one's 40s is not an option for every woman.

But if you know you can handle it, why not? I'll be excited to read about when you decide to grow your family.

For Freedom and Joy,
Patti @ Jazzy Mama

Dora said...

Personally, I always wanted just one. But there are plenty of SMCs with multiple children. Re weaning, how about pumping and dumping during stims to keep up your supply? I think that would probably be the main concern in terms of meds, assuming you don't do a suppression cycle, which is unlikely at your age. I could be wrong, but I don't think vaginal progesterone would get in the milk.

Little One said...

I have been thinking and planning #2 for a while. My baby weaned herself from me just past a year when she got quite sick. It's a good thing b/c I need to be on high doses of estrogen and progesterone to conceive and I wouldn't have been able to breastfeed while on those meds. Enjoyed this post.

Tiara said...

I love to hear that you're thinking of trying for 2! I can't wait to read what the future has in store for you!

Christine Powell said...

All the best for your future plans! I enjoyed reading this post from a totally different perspective :)

Laraf123 said...

There is so much soul searching involved in this decision. Even more so, I think, for SMCs. I am wishing you the very best on this journey! You are a wonderful mom!

Zoie @ TouchstoneZ said...

Thank you for sharing your journey. There is so much to consider in whether to have one or more than one child. As and also 41 year old, it's a factor but not the only one for me in deciding how many children will be in our family.

And I know there are IVF alternatives for breastfeeding, etc. One of my homebirth midwives does at home ivf and is super crunchy in her practice. There have to be more like this available elsewhere. I hope you can find what you need to support you.