Switching between hopefulness and trying to come with terms with the fact that - not this time. Trying to picture myself at the bank - if I can see myself visiting them in the near future, then probably I'm not pregnant. Actually had to try real hard to vision me there..
One sign I was desperately looking for, was some kind of pain or soreness or something in the breasts, and... mostly nothing! But the other night I did feel some kind of soreness (although only on one breast). But since it had gone the next day, I assumed it had nothing to do with trying to conceive, and hopefulness went away.
Last night sister #4 asked if there was any news, to which I replied in the negative. Today she asked again, mentioning that my breasts seem to have grown, which is the first sign of pregnancy. My first reaction was a surprise - do you really think they grew!? And thinking that last night when she saw me they might have seemed bigger because I played around a bit with the straps of my bra (they bothered me). But.. thinking again, yes, they probably did grow a little. And I don't think I have been eating too much rubbish lately. So maybe.... Here comes hopefulness again :-)
And the nausea. Yes, I've been feeling quite bad in the last (hmmm.. don't really remember how long :-]). But as much as I would like to attribute it as a sign, unfortunately pregnancy isn't the only reason to cause such a feeling. The horrible weather (hot and humid) is of course competitor number one, but also could have been intensified by my gloomy self.
So am I or am I not?
I read an advice on the Internet. They were talking about a false negative response to a pregnancy test. The most common reason was doing the test too early (One thing is for sure - next time [if there is a next time (-; ] I won't rush to do it after two weeks, but rather wait a little). There were also some strange stories about these negative results, with the weirdest was of a woman who kept getting a negative response, and due to her complaining that if she wasn't pregnant then something was wrong with her, had an ultra-sound only to discover she was 5 months pregnant! Anyway, the advice was that if your instinct tells you you are pregnant, then you probably are. Unfortunately my instinct tells me no such thing. Only lets me wait and go from hopefulness to despair. But at least since I still haven't got my period, I still could be..
(hopefulness won this post. despair won the previous one..)