Positive :-)

I started this morning feeling how scared I am of this IVF. Not so of the procedure itself (although I must admit that the full bladder thing does kind of scare me), more of the how do you get started. Right now I know I've got a list of tests to be done, not so sure how I proceed from there (how do I get an approval). And I was kind of feeling like I'll never pass this first obstacle (first obstacles are always huge in my eyes, almost impassable..).
And then I had another test done this morning, a vaginal ultrasound. She was reading out the numbers, and they were nice and high, in fact I don't think I had follicles this big [left - 18*30; right - 21*28 with a yellow body (Corpus Luteum)]. I know I already ovulated, so maybe non-leading follicles continue growing!? Don't really know, just know that after first thought of - yeah, nice numbers but it's never going to happen, I was thinking - YES I CAN! I was kind of thinking (beforehand) of giving up on that eighth IUI, focusing my energy on the IVF. But hey, with such lovely follicles without anything to stim their growth, I know I can do this last IUI (and of course get knocked up..). I will proceed with trying to get an IVF going (you know, as backup), but will also do this final IUI.

And then to enforce this positive attitude, I come home to a beautiful black hummingbird flying around in my house, and then the scales insisted on me being 50.7 kg [I would l-o-v-e to carry around that weight, it's even lower by about two kilos from my target weight LOL (yes, batteries probably need changing..).

So here is my plan for the next few weeks:
->Have biopsy (today! yes, top and bottom in one day..).
->In two weeks time get a negative result and an O.K to continue TTC.
->While waiting for results, start loosing weight. I think I'll put a goal of 5 kg in these two weeks (overall I want to shed 15 kg.).
->Try and schedule the PAP (last test!) for next week (actually, tomorrow would be more than great, but I doubt if I'll be able to get an appointment so soon).
-> When I get my period, start injections for IUI #8.
->I should be getting the PAP results around the end of the TWW, so just in case it's another negative, I'll be able to proceed straight away to IVF (hopefully beurocrasy won't take too long).

oh, and this new pill I've got, I think I'll call her Joy. Trying to read the psychiatrist's note to the doctor [so I can get a prescription and therefore pay a reduced sum, the psych is private] I stumbled on the last word. It said: start with [in Hebrew], and then something that looked like Joy (in English). Well, though I later managed to read it [50 mg...], I still I think I should stick with calling her Joy :-).

P.S
It's my Blogaversary today!! Yep, a year ago I started blogging about my efforts to become a mother. I was sure that in no time I'll be pregnant. Oh well, this IUI is going to work, and I will celebrate my 40th birthday (in one year and one month's time..) with a new born (or if backup plan takes place, then at least being pregnant..).