I was then going to carry on with the results of the mammogram and u/s I had. Of course it was going to be an all clear update, saying how everything is O.K and how I can continue as usual.
Well the results came back as probably benign. Not definitely, but probably. I am 3 on the BIRDS scale. And they now want me to have a biopsy. A thick needle biopsy the explanation leaflet is titled in Hebrew. Thank you very much for that. I have no problems generally with needles, but one that they call thick?? [and I'm imagining a needle thick enough to penetrate an elephant]. At least in English they call it a core needle biopsy [and there my imagination can take me to some small and unimpressive needle pushing gently into the core of an apple, because my association for the word core is definitely an apple. Except they kind of ruined that possible image with the Hebrew].
Not to mention that they explain how they will make a cut, and how they usually take 2-6 cylindrical samples from the lump. Not one, but about 6 samples! Oh boy! That is one scary test.
And then there's this month's insemination which I was really looking forward to but which now I think is not such a good idea. I should first tend to my breast [ha, there were these tww when I was looking for signs and I could feel my left breast but not my right. Just thought I was uneven. And today, coming home from the clinic, that stupid left breast was somewhat painful again]. I don't think injecting hormones is a good idea right now.
And I'm scared. Less of them finding cancer in me ["probably benign" they say. Actually, looking at the chart (in above link), also level 4, which is "Suspicious Abnormality", is still not considered to be cancerous. But couldn't I be a 'definitely benign'??? Do they have to say probably and mention it 4 times on the results page??], but what with the IVF? Apparently one of the testings they require for the procedure is a doctor's examination of the breasts (and for women above 40, a mammogram too). With this finding, will they now not approve it?
On my way home, a big ad (for a car) caught my eye - Just because you are breathing, doesn't mean you are alive. Yes, that is "exactly" what I needed, a reminder of how not alive I am.
But at least I'll get to have my day 3 blood draw tomorrow morning.