Monday, 15 June 2009

On Sensitivity

This time, on sensitivity....

First (I mean before I talk with reference to the title..) let me tell you this funny little story. Across the street live a 4 year old girl and her 6 year old brother. they play a lot with L, my 4 year old nephew who is my neighbour (and therefore also lives across the street from them). Though the father is not such a character, teaching his son to mock and tease L, when it's just the kids they play nicely and it is really good socially for L as these kids are teaching him something about socializing and it is really nice how they come and go. I don't really exchange words with the neighbours (too shy..) but do occasionally say hello to the kids (probably mainly the boy).
Anyway, yesterday the whole family was outside, and the little girl, on seeing me shouted - You're L's grandma, your L's grandma! Yeah, she's only 4, probably doesn't yet have the notion that you have to be just a little bit older to be a grandmother, but it cracked me up to be called granny!


On sensitivity.
My mother.
When I write about her here, it is usually in the negative - can't talk to her, can't share with her. But you know what? I am slowly rediscovering my mother, beginning to see her in new eyes.
There was this 'incident' this week. She got a new camera for her birthday and we were both trying (unsuccessfully) to use a certain feature in it. Later that day (or the next day) she told me that "she said you do blah blah blah". We were both hovering over the camera seeing how yes, you have to do XYZ. Anyway, as she was leaving, I asked - "and who is she" (kind of guessed sis #6), and she answered [before I continue, I just want to mention that my mother and I have this kind of humor where we would refer to family members as daughter; sister; nephew; etc, and not by their names ("your sister was looking for you"). Of course we don't do that all the time, and I believe it's kind of funny when you are told that - you sister..... and, well there are quite a few possibilities], so when asked "who is she", mother replied - your daughter, immediately correcting herself saying she's sorry and that it came out wrong. Well as she said your daughter, I was smiling - firstly because it was such an understandable mistake, but maybe more because it had a sweet sound to it, my mother saying: your daughter. Anyway it was so sweet how she corrected herself, how she saw how it might effect me.
And I think I am a bit opening up to her about my ttc efforts. Not so much about IVF, but small things and it feels good. Yesterday I found myself asking her if she knows the meaning of my middle name, being able to ask her this question (not so long ago I couldn't have). And it wasn't in bitterness or negativeness, on the contrary - with a lot of humor (I will just say that its meaning has to do with fertility, with being fertile!) [oh, and I love it, as well as my first name :-)].

1 comment:

becomingwhole said...

Now I am very curious about your name(s)! It is wonderful to have a different kind of connection with someone, especially our mothers, especially when we had thought them closed off to a certain kind of interaction with us, and they surprise us. Lovely post.