Sunday, 12 July 2009

four

four. Out of ten eggs less than half fertilized. Wasn't sure if 10 was good or bad or what, but out of the ten only four to fertilize???? And I know I only need one nice embryo to implant and I was really trying not to have high expectations, but 4?? [which also happens to be my unlucky number]
I'll go in on Tue and have the transfere and all, but if out of 20 follicles (well actually the last day I went for a sono there were 16, but that jumped from 12 on the previous day, so I think I can assume I had 20) I got only 10 eggs, and out of the 10 eggs only 4 were fertilized, what are the odds that they will implant, what are the odds that I'll see a pregnancy here!?


Oh, and you want to know what weird horrifying dream I had last night? Not for the faint of heart, please go away if you are such a person because it really is bad. So, in this dream I had last night, I wanted to eat a cat so I went about killing a cat, except it didn't really die, was just laying there helpless, looking at me. That didn't stop me putting cat into grill. Cat came out of grill scorched on one side (the side it lay on), but was still completely alive, albeit very weak and not able to move, only look at me with it's eyes, hoping for some mercy that wasn't to be. I don't think a wicked and twisted mind that can come up with such a dream will be a mother, not in this round.

8 comments:

kerri said...

i can totally understand your frustration with the lack of eggs retrieved/fertilized. i wish you the best of luck with the transfer. sit back, relax and think wonderful thoughts...

btw - fertility meds always give me awful dreams...

Jackie said...

Stay positive. You said this already, but just keep reminding yourself, you only need one nice embryo :) one nice embryo, one nice embryo, one nice embryo...now you say it :)

SprtsGrl said...

Hang in there! Same thing here...Good luck!!

Shannon said...

Curious - did you do ICSI? I can't decide if I want to do ICSI or not.

calliope said...

I was going to ask what sort of fertilization method you did as well...
regardless 4 is great. I will be thinking of them all night and hope that they are doing wonderful in the morning for a smooth transfer. xo

Billy said...

It was 1/3 ICSI, the rest "regular". I don't know if these 4 are a result of the ICSI or not (and I was curious to find out. Actually, I don't even have a report, not about the embryos' quality nor the sperm's. I probably should have stopped by the desk and asked for it. oh well.. maybe it's better not knowing, not being able to google and compare and be worried and stressed and all. What will be, will be).

* Embryologist did say, when she brought them** in, that they are complete (without fractors) and dr. then told me it ment they have divided well, but I don't know numbers..

** The two that were transfered. I think a third was the same, don't know about the fourth.

Jellybean Mama said...

Statistics, shmatistics. Do you know what my odds were of succeeding, doing at-home insemination? Wicked, wicked low. Like 0.002% or something stupid like that. So I am very hopeful for you, you got this far!

And don't worry about the dream. Early on I dreamt that I had a baby, and it was a cat. Maybe baby dust and kitty dreams go hand-in-hand?

Fingers all crossed here.

battynurse said...

I'm sorry the fertilization report wasn't better. I understand being disappointed with it. Hopefully that won't matter and you'll still get that one great embryo that hangs around. I'll be thinking good thoughts for you.
As for the dream? I've had some doozies before that were equally strange and or gross and so totally not anything I would ever truly do.