house

I love reading all these arts & crafts blogs with great idea for kids. The other day Butterfly and I made chocolate playdough from one of these blogs and it came out great! [I also loved how we got brown without food colouring. On Tuesday my niece and nephew will be here so I want to try doing purple, blue and orange playdough]. Not only the colour, but it also smells like chocolate cake :-) [was warned that the purple (made from red cabbage) stinks after a day or so. we'll see..]

Well, I'd like to show you something little we did :-). Reading at another blog, I saw an idea of taking a big cardboard and making it into a house by cutting and sliding. Loved it, so now I was on the lookout for a big piece of cardboard. Well I found this big box of an air-conditioner (in fact there were two such boxes, but by the time we came back for the second box, it was already squashed with something heavy that was put on it). It was not easy carrying it home, but well, what doesn't one do so her child can have a play house? ha ha. Anyway was going to go by instructions, but then Butterfly went under/inside and I saw that it just needs a little shaping to become a house. So I made a roof and cut a window and a door, and then we got to the job of painting it. Will admit that most of the "work" is mine, somehow Butterfly who usually LOVES painting, didn't fancy to paint much. Will also mention that there is no theme or logic or point to the painting, only to get the house all covered in paint [which we didn't succeed before running out of paint lol].

So here it is:

On to another subject..

Recently I bought the Family Book, but will admit that was a little disappointed. SMC is mentioned as - some families have only one parent (or something like that, the book is not in front of me now). I think I was expecting the word "mummy" mentioned (maybe something like - some families there is only a mummy or only a daddy). Maybe it bothers me because she doesn't know the word "parent" (I read to her as I wrote). Anyway I decided to by this e-book called Before You Were Born. It is a book I encountered before but didn't like because she uses the term cell instead of sperm and egg. I want the real terms used. The plus side is that it is [the one I chose, she has different versions] is SMC + IVF. I am going to print it so we have a hard copy (unfortunately the don't have hard copies for sale) to read (will also try and change the words I don't like..).

Anyway, so I've been reading Butterfly this story quiet a lot, and many more times she asks me to "tell me about before I was born". I love telling her, love that she wants to know, love these intimate moments between us. Well today we were playing that she is my mummy and I was lying with my head on her knees, so I asked her to tell me about before I was born. To my surprise, she did quite a good job telling me the story [until she got stuck..]. It was not intended, but it was great to hear from her, what she hears and understands.. [unfortunately we were out at the playground and I had no means of recording what she said, would have loved to have her version in writing..]

We are three and a quarter. When does it get better???

As evident from previous post, Butterfly goes to sleep late. Very late. A cycle I don't seem able to stop. I know there are other factors like the fact that we are very much out of routine or that I am feeling very anxious as I don't yet know how and what with my studies. And yes, she is in a difficult age. Take for example today, we were on our way home when she said she wanted to eat. I said okay, when we get home. But she carried on whining about wanting to eat. I do know and understand that kid's logic is not the same as adults and while I understand that if there is no food on us, the best thing is to get home as quick as possible and no point to whine about it. She obviously doesn't yet get that, so she goes on and on. Grrrr. We then passed a small playground. She wanted to go and play. I didn't mind stopping at the playground (but didn't have too much time to spare), so I let her play (of course she forgot she was hungry..). I then decided we had to go. And boy did she cry and whine, riding her balance bike crying how she doesn't want to go home. And I just couldn't stand it anymore. I am so fed up with this whining of hers, I n ever thought it would get up my nerves as it does.  So I snapped at her to stop it, and talked angrily to her and shouted at her, but of course all that didn't help, so I just put my hands on my ears as I really couldn't take it any longer. Next she was asking for a hug and stopped her whining. Not proud of my self, and do not want to use this as a method to quite her, but at least for the moment it worked..
Later she whined because she wanted me to ride my bike with her on the pavement and then because we forgot her bottle and she can't drink from the drinking fountain and then on and on because this or that. And I know it a snowball as I am cross and angry at her which not only does not help, it even makes matters worse and then she goes to sleep late and a new horrible day begins.

On the bright side I want to tell you about the other day. I did something, not sure if it was the right thing to do - I forcefully took something away from her. I do not like to use force on her, as it is not fair as I am the stronger one being the adult. Anyway I digress as this is not the point. The point is that she got angry with me and, as my sister who witnessed told me later, Butterfly was kicking the sofa while hugging me (I had a vague notion about the kicking of the sofa..). My sister was amazed as she said her kids would either try and hit her or want to get away from her. My daughter hugs me. I do love that she feels the need to hug me when I'm cross with her and I don't want her to stop that habit, so I always return that hug, but can be rather difficult when you have angry feelings...

Another kind of funny thing - she has picked up these annoying habits like being often tired of walking/riding when we go places, telling me it is very far away. This is not the funny part, it is annoying! Before her cousins came with us in the summer holiday on the bus and the walk to the bus, complaining about how long it takes, Butterfly was fine with the walk and with the bus drive. Anyway today  these cousins were fighting and telling each other I hate you, and their mother was complaining that this is something new they had learnt from their other cousins (from their father's side) with whom they spent the summer. It was kind of funny as probably the mother of those kids is complaining about X Y and Z who have spoiled her kids as the have never before ......  and so on and so on. My daughter has probably spoiled it (or will) for another mother..

Oh well, three more months to go! [I have no idea if this gets better at three and a half, but I am going to tell myself that it will!!]

it's 23:30 now

no sign of Butterfly going to sleep anytime soon. We did try before but it was obvious a no-go so we stopped that attempt. If this was a one time thing I would say annoying but happens. If she slept this afternoon [she was with the nanny and says she hasn't slept] I would have said very annoying but oh well.. But she lately goes to sleep very late with last week being the worst - two nights ago was the "highlight" when she went to sleep after 1:00 am. We woke up relatively early and were both cranky and tired all day. She did go to sleep that night nice and early (19:30!) and had a nice long sleep, and I thought that was the end of that.
So now I am just venting while she is sitting on the floor next to me. I know it may be because we currently don't have a schedule [I still haven't started studying and not yet fully scheduled with my pupils and it is a holiday right now]. I also don't dictate for her when to go to sleep, I let her tell me when she wants to. She is now lying on the floor. She did once lie on the floor and then suddenly fall asleep so I am hoping. So I am now just waiting for some non mummy time.

EDT: 4 minutes after midnight. She is finally asleep. big sigh of relief.

ovulating

No, not ttc related news, but since I am ovulating (and feeling it) I thought I'd talk a bit more about baby making with Butterfly. So I explained how I am ovulating which means an egg inside me [telling her it's not an egg we eat blah blah] is waiting for a sperm. Carrying on and telling her how eggs are from mummies and sperms from daddies and how since I didn't have a daddy for her I went to a special place where daddies let mummies have eggs. And ohhhh, no, not pleased with my explanation! Can we do rewind?* Okay it's more or less the first time trying to explain sperm bank to her [I did work on explaining it all to her when she was a baby so that it would be easier for me today, so I'll know what to say and have the words and all. While obviously I still need to find out how and what to say, so practicing didn't help me in that aspect, it did help me with being able to talk to her about it and not waiting for this to come from her and then embarrassingly trying to say something]. Anyway not pleased with all that daddy part. The guy who donated the sperm which helped made my daughter, as much as I am so very grateful for his wonderful gift, is not her daddy or ever will be. He is a donor, a sperm donor.
But it was nice talking to her about it, with her asking me to "tell me more" when I stopped.
Later in the day, when I mentioned "egg", she asked me if it was an egg for eating or an egg for babies ..

Speaking of daddies, we just came back from a lovely little holiday with ALL the family (that would be 2 parents, their 6 grown-up children (and 3 spouses) and 13 grandchildren (and a half if we count the pregnant sis), celebrating my father's 80th birthday. It really was great having Butterfly around all her cousins! We also went on a little trek which would be B's first! Wasn't so easy, as it was in the water and with slippery rocks but she did great! [I wish I could go on more such treks but unfortunately not really a possibility without driving, needing public transport]

Okay to end on a happy note will tell you how we made Shana Tova greeting cards (with a plan to send them before we left for our little holiday. yes, planned.. So people will get them a bit after the New Year... lo nora as my daughter says [(colloquial) it doesn't matter]). Today we went to the post to send them. Before going she asked about her one. Oops! Didn't think about that! So we quickly did a card for Butterfly :-).And with this, let me say Shana Tova to all who will be celebrating the Jewish New Year!Oh, pink.. a few days ago someone asked my daughter what was her favourite colour. As she didn't know what that means (she doesn't know the word favourite), it was explained the person (can't remember who it was..) wants to know what colour she likes the most. So now I hear again and again that "My faourite is pink and purple" :-).


* I do know this is just the beginning and inforrmation has not sank in and I will have plenty of opportunities to try again and again until I am pleased with what I say :-).