Towards the end of the last cycle, when I was on that horrific roller coaster, I was trying to figure how best to act - if I go in and have a Beta test, I might get a phone call saying that I'm not pregnant.I do not want a human voice telling me that. On the other hand I could wait just a few more days. Wait until it's beyond reasonably late (and so must be pregnant) [or until I get my period] and only then go and do the Beta. The problem with the first way was that I would be risking a human no. The problem with the second was that for the meantime I wasn't release from this roller coaster, thinking for one minuter that I am, I must be, and the next that I'm not. Slowly the idea of a home pregnancy test crept into me. When I began the process, I said that I won't use them, and I was determined to make do without. But.... maybe I should??
Well, I think it can go without saying that I never bought a HPT before. And was quite embarrassed to do so. Yes, there's nothing to be embarrassed about, and yes I get embarrassed much too easy.. But I decided to put my fears and negative emotions aside, and go and buy myself a HPT. Funny thing, I don't know why, but I imagined it comes in a big box. And I was worried, since as it was quite a spontaneous decision to go and buy it, I thought of doing so just before these pupils I tutor in their home. And what if it won't fit into my bag?? Must be quite stupid imagining it as something that requires a big box, since it is "only" a stick, but hey, that's fear and imagination for you (both of which I have plenty..).
Anyway, of course I had no idea where and what to look for at the pharmacy, so had to ask the pharmacist behind the counter. "Over there, next to the condoms" she said out loud. And nope, never bought condoms before. Well I found them, but now comes the question - how do I choose? What am I looking for in a HPT? I ended up buying one that contained two tests (and a good think I did so!).
I know from first hand how it is when as a teacher you explain to your pupils their mission. You go over it again and again, making sure they understand what they have to do, but somehow there is always that pupil who after all your explanations will do the wrong thing. Well the other day I was that pupil.. I read the instructions carefully, but was so focused on the mustn't pass the arrow, that I failed to remember that I only need to hold it for 10 seconds (and I cut the paper cup so to be able to leave the stick in there without holding it. I ended up peeping on my hand as well as the cup, since it was too small a-n-d having to hold the stick since it was still too deep...). So I did the above and waited, not sure if I'm doing it right, if it's not too deep, or maybe not deep enough when suddenly the screen looked like it got damped by moist (i.e my pee). Oh no, I probably messed it up, I thought and quickly took stick number two and repeated the process. Only then did I see a result appearing on the first stick..
My adventures with a HPT :-)
All in all, I think I like the idea of getting a first answer between me and myself, and only if it's positive go and have that Beta. I think I will use them, but I will go and buy them only if and when I am considerably late so as not to be tempted to use them when a negative answer is the most likelihood answer regardless of whether I am or not pregnant.
5 comments:
You didn't have to buy Ovulation Predictor Kits? I would've thought you would've seen the HPT's then.
I used to work for an inventory control company. When we'd work there was always items with no price on them so we'd call the store staff for help. One of our favorites was when you got to yell "Can I get some help in the condom isle, please?". It was very amusing to see the look on the customers faces.
No, never bought one. Don't really need.
Here (in Israel..) medical insurance is obligatory and very cheep [about 2.5% from ones salary]. Also, Israel as a state very much incourages growth of the population (whether by birth or by imigration), therefore much of the infertility treatments are subsidized by the government. Right now all I'm paying for is the sperm. I don't have to pay to see a doctor; I don't have to pay to have an U.S; I don't have topay to have my blood tested; I don't have to pay for the washing of the sperm or the insemination. Nothing ecxept the sperm itself (if at one stage I'll start taking hormones then obviously I'll have to buy them, but still I understand that they are subsidized..). When I read how most people have to pay for all these things, I'm in - wow!
So with such a medical care, never saw the need for such a kit (started taking my tempreture just as another tool to get to know my body better, not so much because of a need).
Ah... I'm in Canada so I don't pay for a lot of that stuff either. I did have to pay for the OPK's, sperm and the "procedure" but all the tests and surgery I needed was paid for by the health care system. Honestly, I don't know what that costs... I think maybe around $800/year but my employer has paid that for the last 10 years. (Of course, if you're low income you would pay nothing)
So, not only here..
(I have read in posts about how it costs to do this and to do that. Seems like everything costs.
So nice to hear that there are other sane countries :-)
Two thoughts:
1) a question: why don't you get your test results over the internet? I saw elsewhere that you were asking about blood test results read over the phone - why? So... skip the negative phone call and look it up on the web.
2) One of the reasons I wanted you to watch "starting Over", is so you would see how easier it is to do something since you got it as an exercise - if they tell you "go buy condoms" or "go ask people about their love life" or whatever and you know "it's not your fault", you are much less embarrassed. I feel that this is something I can adopt in my own life - like "someone else told me to do that". If I were you, I'd go to a pharmacy "as if" I am a teacher of a group of young girls and I'd like to teach them about HPT, so "I need a bulk of HPTs so I can hand them out". If you feel that inside, you don't feel awkward when talking to the sales person - you are "just doing your job". Stop thinking "you are transparent" and everybody is guessing what happens with you. There are many explanations to most situations, and you can always make believe that the people around you pick the good option rather than the embarrassing one.
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