Towards the end of the last cycle, when I was on that horrific roller coaster, I was trying to figure how best to act - if I go in and have a Beta test, I might get a phone call saying that I'm not pregnant.I do not want a human voice telling me that. On the other hand I could wait just a few more days. Wait until it's beyond reasonably late (and so must be pregnant) [or until I get my period] and only then go and do the Beta. The problem with the first way was that I would be risking a human no. The problem with the second was that for the meantime I wasn't release from this roller coaster, thinking for one minuter that I am, I must be, and the next that I'm not. Slowly the idea of a home pregnancy test crept into me. When I began the process, I said that I won't use them, and I was determined to make do without. But.... maybe I should??
Well, I think it can go without saying that I never bought a HPT before. And was quite embarrassed to do so. Yes, there's nothing to be embarrassed about, and yes I get embarrassed much too easy.. But I decided to put my fears and negative emotions aside, and go and buy myself a HPT. Funny thing, I don't know why, but I imagined it comes in a big box. And I was worried, since as it was quite a spontaneous decision to go and buy it, I thought of doing so just before these pupils I tutor in their home. And what if it won't fit into my bag?? Must be quite stupid imagining it as something that requires a big box, since it is "only" a stick, but hey, that's fear and imagination for you (both of which I have plenty..).
Anyway, of course I had no idea where and what to look for at the pharmacy, so had to ask the pharmacist behind the counter. "Over there, next to the condoms" she said out loud. And nope, never bought condoms before. Well I found them, but now comes the question - how do I choose? What am I looking for in a HPT? I ended up buying one that contained two tests (and a good think I did so!).
I know from first hand how it is when as a teacher you explain to your pupils their mission. You go over it again and again, making sure they understand what they have to do, but somehow there is always that pupil who after all your explanations will do the wrong thing. Well the other day I was that pupil.. I read the instructions carefully, but was so focused on the mustn't pass the arrow, that I failed to remember that I only need to hold it for 10 seconds (and I cut the paper cup so to be able to leave the stick in there without holding it. I ended up peeping on my hand as well as the cup, since it was too small a-n-d having to hold the stick since it was still too deep...). So I did the above and waited, not sure if I'm doing it right, if it's not too deep, or maybe not deep enough when suddenly the screen looked like it got damped by moist (i.e my pee). Oh no, I probably messed it up, I thought and quickly took stick number two and repeated the process. Only then did I see a result appearing on the first stick..
My adventures with a HPT :-)
All in all, I think I like the idea of getting a first answer between me and myself, and only if it's positive go and have that Beta. I think I will use them, but I will go and buy them only if and when I am considerably late so as not to be tempted to use them when a negative answer is the most likelihood answer regardless of whether I am or not pregnant.