I want very much to tidy up my house which is in a terrible state, but can't seem to do so. Here and there I manage to do something, but since the task is never completed, it often deteriorates. A couple of weeks ago sister #6 came over to help me with the cleaning. We worked for some hours, then I, with my low energy levels said thank-you but that's it for today, and that was that. My problem is that unless my house is absolutely clean and tidy, I will keep deteriorating into my usual CHAOS (Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome) state.
I wanted so much to start my journey into motherhood with a nice, clean, baby friendly house, but as much as I tried - never managed to get it done. So I started, saying to myself, that - oh well, once I'm pregnant I'll have nine months to take care of that, and surly I will not allow myself to bring a baby home to this! I am so low on energy that I just keep postponing doing anything about it.
But today it occurred to me that maybe I am going the wrong way. Maybe I am not letting myself be in a baby inviting environment. Maybe the reason I have such a hard time believing that one day I will be a mummy is because I can't see it in my day to day life. I'm not talking about painting walls with baby themes or having baby equipment or any of the sort, just not living in a terrible mess. Maybe instead of waiting for baby to come (or at least be on it's way) to start working seriously on my house, I should now make sure it's baby friendly, hoping it will give me a more positive state of mind and thus a higher chance of conceiving!
Just my little thought of the day..