Wednesday, 3 December 2008

New Donor.... New Bank

So, chose today a new donor at a new bank. Actually, not really new bank. This was the bank I originally wanted to use, except... after waiting for about 4 months for my original appointment with them, they called to say that they are postponing all new appointments by a few months. I really couldn't wait to start, so went with this other bank.
And they are so nice! The doctor asked if he knew me, to which I replied that no (from where would I know him!?). But it seems he knew me from the fertility clinic as he also works there- nice that he recognized me, nicer still as I think I probably saw him only once, and I didn't recognize him.. Also liked his gesture at the end when he shook my hand (unlike previous bank's dr. who made stupid jokes all along the appointment and didn't really seem to care. Although it doesn't really matter, since from now I don't have to be in contact with him). It was nice that although I didn't have all the tests they required (I got this appointment from someone who gave it to me [otherwise it's about a 6 months wait..], so I brought the old tests I had which apparently are too old), they let me go on and choose a donor (and even wanted me to buy vials, except I would prefer to first wait till the end of the TWW). Previous bank, when I had just one test missing, one small tiny test, made me bring the result before I could continue. New bank - oh, just fax us the results. At old bank I luckily wrote known details of donor, new bank surprised me and gave me these details. How nice of them! Especially as that is so important for me (later on that). And I know new bank won't be so irritating like with the note and like with Friday insems (when I had an insem on a Fri at old bank, I had to wiggle. At new bank I was told to notify them in advance if I know, or even suspect insem might be on a Fri since they finish early on a Fri. (they mentioned the Fri without me asking about it, so I know it won't be a problem. Plus old bank did originally tell me that Fridays aren't a problem only to change a tune when Fri was a reality). Not to mention I didn't like how old bank suddenly upped their prices (one of their benefits was their relatively lower prices. Not any more after they upped them).

And I get so little information about the donor. Me who always inquisits about my heritage, who is always asking my parents about their background, who always wants to know, will be denying this from future child.
There are no open donors here in Israel, only closed ones. Yes, some people do order sperm from overseas (mainly the states), but that is way way way too expensive (I'm not talking about open donor being more expensive, or [if I'm not mistaken] that sperm in the U.S.A is a bit more expensive than here in Israel, but the shipment and the storage etc. It comes to about 10 times the price I pay, and I really can't afford that. I do feel somewhat selfish about it, but I know that the only way for me to have a child will be to deny her/him part of their heritage.
Therefore it is important for me to collect whatever data I can. Whether it's the few physical traits I know, any additional data about donor, even when the sperm was frozen (info I get from the sealed envelope I have to pass from bank to clinic, which obviously I'm not supposed to open, but then you don't let the cat watch the milk).

And this new donor.. I really didn't care who. I will admit that I did fancy the Yemenite guy (I love that skin colour!), but no big deal. Since I am a carrier of a genetic disease, it was more important to go with any guy who was checked for this disorder (although Yemenite guy would have probably done just fine since we are of different ethnic backgrounds).
Extra bonus with new guy is his religion, or rather what he is not - He is not a Jew. I honestly couldn't care a damn if he is a Jew, a Christian, or whatever, I really don't care. Except that having an unknown Jew as a father might cause problems with the religious authorities later on if and when child wants to marry (no civil marriages here. Those who can't [and there are plenty who can't] fly over to Cyprus and return as a married couple). Kind of a paradox, but while the Jewish religion is passed on by the mother, the lineage is passed through the father, so if the father is unknown, it is unknown if he is a Cohen (who can't marry a divorcee) or a bastard (who can't marry for 7 [or is it 10?] generations except each other), for example. But if father is not Jewish, then there's no problem. I wasn't particular looking for a non-Jewish donor (at last bank there were only Jews. Oh, I might as well as tell you that there were only 4 donors to choose from...), but knew this was another hardship I'm putting on future child. So I am happy that (if indeed non-Jew guy will be the donor - the woman in charge did hint that I should pay for donor as soon as possible since what's up today might not be tomorrow, but I prefer waiting till the end of the TWW) I have something less to worry about.
Somehow, with this new bank and new donor, I kind of hope I'm not pregnant..

7 comments:

meandbaby said...

How nice you got in with this better bank! And the new donor sounds perfect for you. Good luck!

Billy said...

thanks :-)

bleu said...

Yay for a new bank with nice people who are pains in the butt!!!!!!!

Although I still hope you are pregnant, I ALWAYS hope you are pregnant though. ;)

Tanya said...

I wish you unpregnant? Maybe? I'm glad you found a place you like better and hope things work out the way you want.

Naomi said...

glad you're more comfortable at this new place.

wow all those this one can marry this one but not that stuff confused the heck out of me! why must everything be so complicated lol

Billy said...

Thanks. I think I'm just preparing myself for anopther failed cycle as I have completly no signs (and this morning temp dropped. don't know if it's a fluke since I'm only at day 10 [I think would expect that to happen from tomorrow] or not).

Heavy heart said...

Good for you that this new bank vibes better with you! But a bird in hand is still better than two that is not.. so I still don't wish you not to get pregnant! All the best yet for this cycle - especially with the temp drop 10dpo!