First thank you all for your support. This is such an amazing community!
As I already mentioned, when I went to have the blood tests done for the new bank, I was asked if I'm pregnant, started saying that I don't know and had the nurse register it as a "no". Oops, silly me forgot that some tests (like rubella) they only do on pregnant women. Last time the nurse said something about it, so I mentioned that I was trying to conceive. Forgot about it this time. Which means they (probably) didn't test me for rubella, which means I have to go again. Annoying if you think that it's not as if I myself can ask to have a blood test done, but it has to come with a doctor's note, so trust me that if my doctor asked for this test, then it is requested.
I could see the doctor at the clinic only on Wednesday which will probably be first day of stims. Luckily I still have some drugs left (I have no idea, but my guess is that we'll continue with the same protocol).
Tomorrow I hope to buy vials of my new sperm. I have most of the tests they wanted (actually, back then they wanted me to buy, so it should be O.K). Unfortunately I can't find my I.D card (to prove I'm single, but I hope that won't be a problem). I do hope donor is still available. Oh, and they only allow buying two vials at a time..
And love. Last week, when I thought I was carrying my child, I felt love for this thing growing inside me. And it amazed me. I couldn't feel it, see it or anything, just knowing it is there and my heart was already loving it. And I couldn't but think how when I'll see it in the u/s and then (or before? what comes first?) feel it moving/kicking and when it's born etc etc, how this love can only grow and grow.
Thinking about "regular couples", couples who decide it's time to have a baby and just stop taking pills or using condoms or whatever, still in the when it will happen it will happen. They too might have chemical pregnancies, but they wouldn't know about it. For them it's only a period coming late. But then again, they wouldn't have the privilege of loving your child from almost the absolute beginning..