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Monday, 13 July 2009


First time here in Perfect Moment Monday :-)

I have a sister who like me, is the only non parent sibling. She is 37 years old, and I am very concerned about her as I do want to see her become a mother and I know she will be this great wonderful mummy.
Except.. When I first told her of my plans to become an SMC (more than two years ago) she told me how she could never go that route. How, if the worst came to the worst and she didn't find the right guy, that she would settle for whoever and build her family with compromise guy (will add that unlike me, she is on the dating scene). And all the time she was about how single motherhood was not for her.
And then a few weeks ago I asked her to check her hormonal profile (FSH, TSH etc), just to be in the know of what her body has to say. To have a general idea if she does have some time, or if she should really start doing something. She said she prefers not, as she would be all stressed out by it [will just mention that she is the sister who refused to check for the BRCA gene, a breast cancer gene that our father has]. And again talked about how she couldn't become a single mother, how that is not for her.
So the other day (in fact, the day of my retrieval - I do believe it's connected) she mentioned how she couldn't sleep, tossing and turning over the question of whether she will ever be a mother, and then talked about how she is beginning to consider the option of single motherhood. While I would still be more than delighted to have her dream family with a husband and all become a reality, I am so glad that she is starting to open up to other options, and that she won't let her fantasy of a husband and then a child come between her and motherhood. Unfortunately we woman have only a limited amount of years when we come reproduce, and I do believe that a hubby can be found after becoming mothers, that it doesn't have to be A followed by B.
So having her begin to open up to other options, that was a perfect moment for me :-).


Lori Lavender Luz said...

First of all, welcome to Perfect Moment Mondays! So nice to hear about your gentle guidance and your sister's opening to other possibilities.

PerfectMomentProject said...

Yes. Welcome to Perfect Moment Mondays. You'll find that it is addictive and you'll be giving yourself Perfect Moment Tuesdays, Wednesdays.. well, you get the idea.

Your post is so full of love for your sister. We all grow in our own ways at our own pace. Glad she has you to walk alongside during her journey.

Demeter said...

So happy to hear that. I knew rather late that I was going to have problems conceiving, I had FSH 16, when you should have less than 10, and suffered tremendously to know my chances were very slim. Wat your sister is going through is what happened to me years ago, now I recomend all my cousins to do all kinds of hormonal tests before waiting to long to conceive, just like you say, to know what to expect. Good luck on the rest of the IVF.

Furrow said...

Oh, best of luck this month! What lucky sisters you are to be able to confide in one another and lend support (even if she was initially reluctant to accept the idea).

Anonymous said...

thats great that she feels able to open up to you.

Anonymous said...

It is nice to see people we are close with become less closed off and more open to possibilities that can make them happy.